Tommy

Happy Mother’s Day! A Word From the Gubenko Kids

May 12, 2013 By AnnMarie

As I shuffle my kids and Leo out of the house to go visit Leo’s mom who is now home from Florida for the summer, the irony hits me. I love being a mom. Today is Mother’s Day and I am looking forward to a few hours to myself. Irony at its finest. I wrote a post for my dear friend Meredith over at The Mom of the Year about when I feel like Mom of the Year. To see that post click here. Chris from The Mom Cafe also did a post for Meredith and I loved how she did it. She let her kids decide why she should be.

I thought this sounded like a great idea so I asked my kids and they didn’t even fight me on writing their lists.

Nico’s:

My mom would win the award because she is loving and cares about us. As much as I wish she would care less just so I can do more, I wouldn’t change her one bit. She is always there when I need her through tough times and good times. I love her so much and hope the blog can be the start to her writing career. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

(I punctuated and fixed the spelling so it would read easier. )

Belle’s letter:

Dear Mom, you should be mom of the year because you are always there for me. I tell you Everything! We have a special bond that I think is awesome. I don’t know what I would without you. I couldn’t ask for a better mom. you’re the best mom in the whole world. You’re my best friend. I love you so so so much. You definitely deserve mom of the year. I love you and everything I wrote is true. You’re the best and I love you soooo much!

(Obviously we need to work on your and you’re.)

Tommy’s letter:

My mom is the Best! I think my mom should win the mom of the year by far! My mom has the love, the brain, the cooking, the cuddles, the help, the muscles, the beauty and of course more love. I love my mom with all my heart and soul and I hope she does, too. My mom is the Best mom I could ever have and that is why my mom should win the mom of the year!

(I feel lucky that he included the “brain” but not sure where the “help” is coming from.)

Gia’s letter:

Mommy is the best mommy ever because I love her. She is the best. She is beautiful. She is nice. I like cuddling with her. I like to eat candy with her. I like to play with her to do stuff: church, Barbies, towers and walks. I love Mommy so much.

(Gia dictated to Belle who wrote it down in case you were wondering whether Gia is a 3-year-old genius.)

I, of course, cried when I read them. It feels good to feel loved and to feel like through all the chaos and battles, they know that I love them.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there, to all the Godmothers, aunts, grandmas, moms with angels in Heaven and women who are mom’s in their heart but life hasn’t caught up yet.

Filed Under: Gia, Holidays, Isabella, Love, Nico, Parenting, Tommy 30 Comments

Weekend Funnies

May 6, 2013 By AnnMarie

I was supposed to have a day to myself. One to catch my breath. We were supposed to have a family day. We haven’t in a long time unless you count the drive back from Indiana. I don’t think you can count wanting to kill your siblings as family time.

Family time started with going to Tommy’s game. I got there just in time to see him not catch a ball in left field. I stayed to see him bat and when he struck out and was beside himself (when will he learn that there is no crying in baseball?), I went over to the dugout and he wouldn’t look at me. I asked him if he wanted us to leave and he said yes. That sucked for so many reasons. I finally made it to a game and was asked to leave by my son. I guess that is really the only reason it sucked. Oh, wait, it also sucked that as soon as I left, he hit a ball to the fence and did okay in the field. Guess it really is me.

Then…I took Nico driving. Friends, I might not make it through this milestone. I am not the first person that has a 15-year-old with a permit but why, why didn’t all of you who have gone before me talk about how unbelievably stressful and vomit-inducing of an experience it is to sit in the passenger seat while your child, the same child that thought it would be fun to jump down a flight of stairs just to see if he could, learns how to brake and turn A CAR! I took him to a nearby subdivision that has a somewhat busy but not really busy main road. I vowed I would be calm while he drove. I would be the parent that was encouraging without yelling or making him feel like driving was the hardest thing to do. He would look back on this time and feel grateful that his mom made this time less scary. Long story short, at one point we were headed to County Farm Road (if you don’t know what that is, it is a REALLY busy road) because he missed a turn I told him to take and I put my foot on the dashboard, you know…on the brake I wish was there, covered my eyes and screamed, “OH MY GOD, WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!” I didn’t see that there was one more turn we could make before getting there. I freaked again when a cop car was behind us and when we passed a party that had cars parked on both sides of the road leaving a narrow road and a car was behind him so he went a little faster than I would have liked. He did really well. It was me that didn’t. Leo took him later and he drove to Target and back so there you go. At some point, he is going to ask me to let him drive to Target and back and I’m going to have to let him do it. Is it possible for me to avoid him until he gets his license?

Remember how I said getting Nico up was a problem? We bought him this high-techy iPod alarm so that he could charge his phone and wake up on time. It has been going off every ten minutes. We read the directions and can’t seem to figure it out. This, my friends, is what we call KARMA.

Today was the first day that I can remember that Leo and Nico left on time. So far, I love the hard to understand, might be broken alarm.

I didn’t get my day this weekend and I am not sure I will this week but this Mother’s Day? It’s going to be spent exactly how I want. I’m going to sleep in, spend some time with the kids, they are going to go to Leo’s mom’s while I go to Barnes and Noble and then I’ll meet up with them again at my sister’s to celebrate my mom. And that, my friends, is a day well spent!

What about you? Ever been asked to leave a game by your child? Any driving with teen tips? How are you hoping to spend your Mother’s Day?

Filed Under: Family, Nico, Random Thoughts, Tommy 18 Comments

Dear Tommy

March 3, 2013 By AnnMarie

Dear Tommy,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I missed your basketball games yesterday. While I’m apologizing, I’m sorry I missed a lot of your baseball games last season. It was so much easier when Dad coached Nico and not you because then he had to be at Nico’s and I had to be at yours. I got to see you go from a flag football player that was unsure of yourself to a younger player holding your own on the older team to a player playing with his own age commanding the field. Watching you play the games you love makes my heart want to burst with pride. You are such a quiet soul in this family, always looking up to Nico, taking a backseat to whatever drama might be going on with Belle and understanding that Gia needs attention constantly. I want you to know that I always want to be watching you.

Yesterday, I made it to one of your games and it made me feel so good when one of the parents said to me that you play with your whole heart. You really do. Sometimes it makes it hard to watch because you get so upset when you don’t play like you want to or when the games start to go south. I want to yell at players whose hands are in your face or who are grabbing at you. You see, since you are my youngest son, I feel fiercely protective over you. When your feelings get hurt or someone is not nice to you (even though they are just playing the game…a little too aggressively maybe but that comes with playing the sports you do), the mama bear in me comes roaring out.

I love that in life, you go with the flow. You might be upset about something but you are not a “reactor”. You have never needed me to entertain you and rarely tell me you’re bored. You blow me away with your creativity and I really think you could be a writer if you wanted to be. Wherever you are, there is sure to be laughter because nothing makes you happier than making people laugh. I often say that God sent you to us to make sure we laugh every single day.

Rarely do I get a serious face.

You are so hard on yourself in every aspect of your life. In sports, in school and with CF. You take it personally when you strike out or when you don’t do well on a test or when you have a hard time gaining weight. You want so much to be like Nico and you are but I appreciate how different you guys are, too. You get things done and are the first one ready when we have somewhere to go. You have a strong sense of who you are and who you want to be and are never afraid to stand up for what you believe in. It made me so proud in church when the speaker asked people to raise their hands if they accept Jesus in their heart and you were one of the first ones to raise your hands.

This having four kids at four different stages makes it so hard to be in four places at once. It’s hard to explain to you why Gia won’t last at an all day tournament in a gym where she has to sit on the bleachers for 6 hours. I know it’s hard for you to understand why I have to say yes to Belle to have friends over (because I mostly say no to her) or why I have to be home when Nico and his friends are here. It makes me sad to miss so much of your stuff and I am jealous that Dad always gets to go (but I don’t think we could trade since I wouldn’t be a very good coach).

Yesterday was one of those days that I was able to go to one of your games but you were unhappy with the way you played most of the time. After you guys won and I went to say, “Good job,” it broke my heart to see the disappointment on your face when I told you I had to leave. When Dad texted me that you guys won the second game and were now in the championship, I had a house full of girls that I couldn’t leave or bring so I missed you winning the championship. I know there will be other games and other championships and other wins but I am so sorry that I missed that one.

I’ll try to get better at this managing during your sports seasons so that I don’t miss as much (I even bought a portable potty so that Gia can use at the baseball fields). Just because you don’t demand to be my first priority doesn’t mean you’re not or that you shouldn’t be. I love you, Bud, with my whole heart and I’m so proud of you.

Love,

Your very bummed mom.

Parents of more than one child in activities, how do you manage? Are you struggling with it as well or are you lucky enough that the activities don’t overlap?

Filed Under: basketball, Parenting, Sports, Tommy 16 Comments

Nothing is Ever Routine

February 22, 2013 By AnnMarie

Ever since the note about 6th grade physicals came home, Tommy and Belle have been obsessing about them.

“How many shots do we have to get?”

“Do we have to give blood?”

“Does the doctor have to see me naked?”

“Do I have to pee in a cup?”

“How many shots?”

I put off telling them that our appointment was yesterday because I didn’t want to hear the complaining. Tommy, however, saw the calendar and saw the times with his name and Belle’s and outed me. Nevermind that Tommy has NEVER looked at the calendar…EVER. All of a sudden, Belle had a stomach ache. She thought she was coming down with what everyone else had that she escaped getting. Anything but having to go to the physical. I made the appointment for the morning and told the twins that we’d go to McDonald’s for lunch before I dropped them back off. That seemed to quiet the complaints a little. I think Belle set a new record for how many times she said, “I don’t want to do this” or “I’m scared.” Once in the waiting room, she flat-out said, “I’m freaking out.”

Not really that nervous.

Super nervous

Let me take a moment to tell you that Gia was with us. Sweet, newly potty-trained, Gia was right there in the middle of everything.

Tommy’s appointment was first (they have different doctors, Tommy has the male doctor and Belle the female one) and it all seemed very routine until the nurse casually said, “Okay, now to the eye exam.” Then it was my turn to quietly freak out. See, I have glasses and I really don’t care if my kids end up with them. But having to go see another doctor when I feel like we see a slew of them right now sends my anxiety through the roof. Having to constantly remind any one of my kids to take care of their glasses or contacts will do that, too. What’s the big deal, you ask? You see, I am already fighting such a big battle daily, I don’t think I can take.one.more.thing. Tommy left and Belle immediately said, “I’m going to fail. I can’t see anything.” She then started to test herself with the magazines on the wall. She had completely psyched herself out which was freaking me out and I was already mentally trying to find room in our schedule for an eye doctor appointment.

By this time, Gia had peed and pooped three times. Seriously. No.lie. Big announcement to the nurses on her way in. It was hilariously embarrassing the first time…not so much the third time.

Tommy passed and while he waited for the nurse to come in with his one shot of Prevnar, Belle was having a slight nervous breakdown. I say slight because I had no idea what was coming. Tommy got his shot, the nurse said, “Stick around for a little bit to make sure he doesn’t have a reaction,” and she left. Tommy stood up to play catch with Gia and that’s when it all fell apart.

He quietly complained that he had a bad headache all of a sudden and his eyes hurt. I looked up at him and I noticed that all the color had drained from his face at the same time he said, “I don’t feel good. I’m dizzy.” I went and got the nurse and probably wouldn’t have gotten as scared as I did except the look on her face was fear. It was not good. She took his blood pressure and nervously said she was going to get the doctor. The doctor came in along with two nurses and said he had vasovagal response which is when the heart rate slows and the blood pressure drops and sometimes ends up with the person passing out. Thank God, he didn’t. But it was enough to scare everyone that was in the room, most of all…

Belle.

If I thought she was having a nervous breakdown before, that was nothing compared to the conversation that followed Tommy’s episode. While he was on the table wincing in pain, Belle was circling the room. It sounded a little like this:

“Why? Why does that happen? Why?”

“Is that going to happen to me?”

“OhmyGod, that is totally going to happen to me.”

“We’re twins. Of course it is going to happen to me.”

“I don’t want it to happen to me.”

“I’m scared it’s going to happen to me.”

“Is it going to happen to me?”

“What if I pass out?”

“Do I have to pee in a cup?”

“Do I have to take the eye test?”

“I’m going to fail the eye test, pee all over my hand and pass out. I know it.”

“I think we should leave.”

“I want to leave.”

“Can we just go?”

“I’m freaking out!”

“You don’t even care that I’m freaking out!”

“DOES ANYONE CARE THAT I AM FREAKING OUT!”

Let me just share with you that by this time, Gia peed and pooped two more times. I.kid.you.not.

When you are stuck at the doctor for 3 hours, taking pictures helps pass the time.

Belle’s doctor came in examined Belle, and knowing her gave her a Sprite to sip on while she was doing it. The funniest part was that while Tommy was still on the table in pain and dizzy and sleeping, the doctor was trying to be all secretive about what happens to some girls that are Belle’s age. I finally told her that there was no such thing as privacy in our house and anything she was saying to Belle, Tommy already knew. Here’s where it all fell apart for Belle. Her doctor has a different view on vaccines and when they are to be given so Belle had to get two shots. Well, that completely set her off and she burst into tears. I really didn’t and still don’t like that two of my kids have different schedules for vaccines. Tommy’s doctor doesn’t believe in giving the TDaP until they go into high school. Belle’s believes in doing it now. Tommy’s didn’t say anything about Hep A, Belle’s recommended it.

After Tommy’s response, I said fine to the TDaP for Belle so she got the Prevnar and that one and was completely distraught with the added one. There was a long wait, so long that we thought they forgot about her and in that time, so much freaking out. I am actually proud of myself that I didn’t lose my patience with her stomping and yelling and crying. She got the shots and immediately said, “I think I’m fine. Wait…I have a headache but I hit my head on the window sill. It’s from that right? Not the shot, right?”

After drinking some Sprite and eating some candy (because both the nurses and the doctors told Tommy that “a little sugar would make him feel better”) and taking it easy, Tommy’s blood pressure went back to normal but the dizziness persisted so we had to stay for him to keep getting checked out. We got to the doctor’s office at 9:15 and didn’t walk out until 12:30. I’ll let all of you mothers that have ever had to be at a doctor’s office for a fraction of that shudder at that thought.

Deciding the twins were getting two much attention, Gia, herself felt a little faint.

We went through a drive-thru and for the rest of the day, the twins used getting shots as a reason to have to eat a lot of sugar. Tommy slept the entire day only waking up to aggravate Gia a little. Belle complained the rest of the day that she didn’t feel good and was worse off because she couldn’t move BOTH her arms and Tommy could at least move his right arm.

I needed a nap, a glass of wine, and a Xanax after that morning but instead got playing with babies (her dolls), lemon water and an Advil for the splitting headache I had.

Why did I ever think that a routine physical with my kids was going to be just that? After 15 years at this gig, don’t I know better by now?

So what are your thoughts? Weird that two doctors in the same practice have different plans for vaccinations? Did your kids get the TDaP at 11 or high school? Did your kids get Hep A? Did you ever pass out from getting a shot?

Edited to add that I just called the middle school and TDaP is required. Darn the doctor for not knowing that and now I have to take him back. Crap.

Filed Under: chaos, Isabella, Odd things that happen in my family, Parenting, Tommy 26 Comments

Tidbits from the Weekend

February 11, 2013 By AnnMarie

It was a busy one. A good one but really busy.

Friday, we had the CF fundraiser and let’s just say that the night started with us getting to the place an hour and a half later than I wanted. For those of you that know me and know how I hate being late anywhere, you can guess what kind of mood that started the night off with. I had to run through the tasting part but did get to meet Fabio from Top Chef. People weren’t really taking pictures with him so I didn’t even ask plus, at that point, I was starving so it was more about the race to taste everything. I was basically a teenage boy who is so hungry, they grab at food, shoving it in their mouth not taking caution of how hot it is and burning the whole inside of their mouth. I did it every.single.time. Unlike last year, I didn’t get many pictures. I only took one of Leo and me.

A lot of money was raised and I only had to leave the room once so that I wouldn’t get upset in front of people so other than me hating being dressed up because my feet will never be the same, it was a nice evening. Thanks, Deo and Gina! (Gina, you look FABULOUS!!!)

Saturday, I opted not to go to any basketball games and instead cleaned the house for the sitters that were coming. And if they are reading this, yes, it was messier than what you saw. I tried to catch up on laundry and keep Gia on a schedule so that she wouldn’t be horrible for the sitters. This translates to her wanting lots of Lego® towers and several tea parties and no nap. I missed Nico’s game where someone had said it was his best yet (of course because I am at every other one) and Tommy’s where he got beat up pretty bad. He’s usually on the side of “lost by 1 or lost by 2″. Poor kid. Dinner was filled with so many laughs that my stomach hurt. It was so good to catch up and have an easy night of eating and drinking and talking. Our kids might be different ages and our lives might be upside down crazy but it was like time had stood still and we were right back to when we were in our 20′s. I needed that. I think Leo needed that, too. I say it all the time but there is something about being with people who knew you before “life” happened. Something inside of you clicks and you remember who you used to be before kids or marriage and if you miss that person, it feels good to revisit her. It makes going back to “life” a little easier. Thanks, Heather and Andrew for babysitting! The kids love you guys.

Sunday came and I was in charge of Tommy’s team’s uniform fitting. Yes, my friends, we have already started baseball. It was good to see the families again and it went off without a hitch but all I wanted to do after was crawl in bed. It was raining and cold and I felt heavy. I couldn’t put my finger on why but I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was head out to a basketball game but I had no excuse and Tommy wanted me to go. Youth basketball…brings out all the uglies. Sit a bunch of parents in the stands from both teams and it gets UGLY. I am happy to say that our team is filled with a bunch of down to earth parents that remembers that these kids are 11. The other team…not so much. We moved to the other side pretty quickly but not before I saw that one of the moms was a mean girl from high school. Did she recognize me? I have no idea. For a moment, it seemed like she might have but I wasn’t going to go out of my way to say anything since she was a “louder” mom. What is amazing to me is that when I saw her, my mind went right back to when I was 16 and she embarrassed me in front of our whole math class. She asked really loudly in front of the class if I liked a certain boy and then laughed and said that he didn’t like me which made everyone in the class start laughing. Funny thing was, I was friends with the boy she was talking about and I already had a boyfriend which is what I said at the time but she still embarrassed me and I still remember it. Years later she tried to get a job in my district. I didn’t do anything to make sure she didn’t get one but I wasn’t upset when she didn’t. And there we sat with our kids playing against each other. Tommy’s team won. Tommy had two bloody noses from kids throwing elbows but our team played fair and won in overtime. I think the victory was that much sweeter since the other team (one that is from a town that is notorious for beating everyone) was filled with people who were yelling while our kids were at the free throw line. THEY ARE 11!

After I got home, I felt that heavy feeling again. And then it hit me…I think I’m getting sick. My body ached, my throat wasn’t horrible but I could feel a sore throat coming on, my nose was stuffed and my head…my head felt like there was a little drummer behind my eyes. I was hoping to just lay down with Gia and go to sleep but she and Belle kept goofing around so I left and went to bed. Just left the house the way it was (not good) and went to bed. Gia eventually fell asleep, Tommy and Leo came home from his second game and everyone got their homework done and went to bed but I don’t remember any of it. I was in bed, sore and achy praying that I’d feel better today because unlike anyone else in this family, I don’t get a sick day.

When I woke up this morning, I thought, I am not sick, I am not sick, I am not sick, today will be pajama and movie day but I am not sick. I can’t be sick. Belle has a volleyball game tonight. I’ll pop a Sudafed 12 hour and be fine but it definitely has me thinking about the days when I could hunker down in bed, have my mom bring me food and emerge a few days later feeling all better.

Can I get another weekend day to recover from this weekend?

What about you? How was your weekend?

Filed Under: basketball, Cystic Fibrosis, Family, Random Thoughts, Tommy 28 Comments

5 Things Making Me Happy Right Now

February 6, 2013 By AnnMarie

Happiness. After this week, I cannot wait for it to come to me. I need to go find it. I need to choose to be happy because it is weeks like this past one that do me in. Send me on a downward spiral. I’m not going to let that happen because I am going to focus on what is making me happy right at this moment.

1. Gia is potty-trained! Dear God in Heaven, if there is a silver-lining in that child being sick all week, it is this. I thought about it last night and wondered if I am sad at all at her reaching this milestone. She is still wearing diapers at night and Pull-ups for naps (though these days, the naps are far and few between) but am I sad that she is getting bigger and is no longer a baby? Hmmm….NOPE! Not this one. Just plain relieved and happy to have this one done. I keep thinking about how I am going to spend all the extra money now that we aren’t buying diapers as often and then I remember that I have 3 other money-suckers. I will not elaborate on this because before I dug my heels in and did it, I hated reading about other kids that were potty-trained. I felt like there was a 1000lb weight on me to do it with every announcement. I will just say, it wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Did you hear the news? I don’t wear diapers anymore!

2. Watching Belle play volleyball. I know I was complaining that we added yet another sport to our already crazy schedule but I have now been to two games and I don’t care if she ever plays competitively, she glows when she is out there. She smiles as big as when she is on a field cheering or a stage dancing and she looks like she is having a blast. After years of the boys playing travel something with so much of the focus on win, win, win, it is so refreshing to sit in the stands and watch kids having fun.

It’s a little blurry since she was supposed to be practicing and not posing for a picture for her mom’s blog.

3. Nico being grounded. While I am not happy about the reasons why, I am thrilled not to have to worry about what he is doing, who he is with, how he’s getting there, and how he’s getting home. I was worried that such a harsh punishment would cause him to stay angry and withdraw but it hasn’t. We’ve had some great conversations and though it isn’t all rainbows and happiness, I pray that he is learning that there are consequences for his actions and that we aren’t going to go back on our word. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, this is the hardest stage of parenting for me and I wish I had known then what I know now. I would have totally enjoyed the stages before (well at least before tweendom).

It’s a little dark but he was being a good brother by sitting with Gia while she tried to fall asleep. If he wasn’t grounded, no way he would have been there.

4. Tommy is a self-starter. He is my only one. Tommy might seem like he is off in “LaLa Land” but he has got a really good head on his shoulders. He comes home, gets his homework done (without any help), does his treatment and gets himself ready for practice all without being told (well, he might need to be told once but that is nothing compared to how much nagging goes on with the others). What is even better is that he’s figured out that if he pays attention in school and works hard there, he can have an easier time here at home and that taking tests is a breeze. With him being absent several days last week because he was sick, him being a self-starter makes me happy because it relieves a lot of stress in him catching up.

5. I have big plans this weekend. Normally, I am a “do nothing” kinda gal but after being cooped up in this house for so long, I am ready to get out and have some adult conversation. Leo and I are attending Chef’s Gala again this year with my sister, Gina and brother-in-law, Deo. I plan on throwing caution to the wind and eating my way through the night and starting my 17 Day Diet on Sunday. I was planning on wearing the same outfit I did last year but after reading about the shoes, I remember the pain and might have to find something else. On Saturday we are having dinner with friends of ours that I love, love, love that we don’t get to see very often because we have six kids between us at all different ages and doing all different activities. We grew up with them, vacationed with them all the time, spent almost every weekend with them when we were dating, married and had Nico and miss them terribly. Everyone needs couples in their lives that knew them before the roller coaster of parenting hit and that no matter what life hands you or how busy life gets, if you need them, in a heartbeat, they are there and Adam and Lisa, if you are reading, you are one of ours. We cannot wait to see you guys!

This is going to be my “go-to” picture whenever I am excited about anything and I am excited to spend time with adults this weekend.

I love starting my day thinking of what makes me happy instead of the 400 things I need to do and how I don’t want to do 399 of them. I forgot to add one teeny-tiny thing that is making me happy: Tonight is my Barnes and Noble night!!! Yahoo!

On a side note, those of you that comment, I am just wondering, do you have to subscribe to my comments in order to see my response to your comment or does it automatically come to you in your email? Those that might be shy about commenting because they aren’t sure how, you just have to put your name (any name, yours, your blog, a username you use), an email (and it doesn’t even have to be a real one and I am the only one that sees it) and you don’t need a website. In case you are reading and were unsure of how to comment, WP makes it easier to comment, I think. At least I hope I am one of the blogs that is easy to comment on. You guys will have to let me know.

What about you? What is making you happy today?

Feeling glass half-full and pouring my heart out with Shell :

Filed Under: Family, Gia, Isabella, Nico, Pour Your Heart Out, Tommy 34 Comments

More Elf Drama

November 8, 2012 By AnnMarie

In case you missed last year’s elf drama check it out before reading further:

Elves and Cookies

Nico and Elf Drama

If you move around the site around that time, you’ll see a few other posts having to do with Santa and the elf. It was pretty much a nightmare. The end of the saga ended with Tommy finding a bag of gifts from Santa and in order to keep the magic alive, I said they were from the elf and that the elf wasn’t real. Belle was devastated but to be honest, I was happy not to continue the charade.

About a week ago, Gia and I were shopping at Target and she saw the Elf on a Shelf display. We began to discuss it with her telling me in a very aggravated voice, “I not a elf. I a people.” I was a little thrilled that she wasn’t into it but there was only one girl elf left so just in case, I bought it. There was only one elf movie so I bought that, too. Yesterday, I was at Target again (I know…I am there too much but it was the St. Charles one and I was meeting my sister. I’ve been trying to shop a little each time for Christmas so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming) and my sister had this big conversation and what do you know…she wanted one. Great.

She watched the movie with the twins. She named the elf “Kiki” which I thought was pretty cute. I told her that for now the elf was just going to “play” with her and hide for her to find her. No mention of gifts. She and Tommy had a lot of fun with the whole thing. You could see Tommy being excited because Gia was. Living through her (isn’t that what we all do?).

Then this morning came and Isabella, Isabella, Isabella. She started in on the 100 questions of the elf and its magic. I made the tragic mistake of not watching the movie and so I had no idea what it said the magic was or came from or how it worked. She said she was confused because I bought it. I said, “Yes, well you can buy the elf and then in December, Santa sends an elf’s spirit to be your elf for the season.” She stared at me in horror because apparently that is not what the movie said. She gave me the sassy answer of “What are you TALKING about?” I remembered that I already told her that the elf wasn’t real last year and in trying to get them off to school, I really didn’t need to deal with that discussion sooo….

I pulled a Mom of the Year and said, “You already know, Belle, that the elf isn’t real. Why are you asking me all of these questions?” Devastation and tears followed. So did the moaning of “I didn’t want to know.”

What I didn’t understand and still don’t is why, if she didn’t want to know the truth, why did she keep questioning me? I guess she wanted me to come up with an elaborate lie to help her still believe but in the rush of morning chaos, I couldn’t. Mom fail.

The sobbing. The crying. She just could not be consoled. How could I do this to her? How could I ruin this for her? When all of her friends are talking about their elf, she can’t contribute because she knows the truth so now she’ll feel left out. It’s all my fault. I am the worst mom ever.

I tried telling her that it will still be fun because we have Gia and many more years of her believing (God, help me) and they can help me hide the elf and they’ll still get gifts (God, help me again) because it is a part of her believing. That made her cry harder because she said she is not a good liar. Ugh.

Tommy looked at me sympathetically and said, “Even if she didn’t know this year, she’s going to find out next year so what is the big deal?” She yelled, “I’d have one more year of believing! I didn’t want to know!”

All before school.

I hate the elf.

Filed Under: chaos, Family Fun, Gia, Holidays, Isabella, Tommy 24 Comments

Some Tidbits: Massages, Leaves and a Video

November 2, 2012 By AnnMarie

It’s been pretty crazy around here. A few things going on over here have gotten lost in the shuffle so I figured today would be a good day to catch up.

I bought my first Groupon. I was so excited. It was $80 for three 1 hour-long massages. Getting a massage is a treat for me. I usually get one a year so the thought of getting three made me giddy. I have a friend from high school that is a massage therapist and at our reunion he announced, “Massage is a necessity, not a luxury” and I always remembered that because it is so true. Anyway, I looked forward to the massage. I bought it in September and couldn’t get an appointment until the end of October. I kept thinking, this is going to be good if they are that booked up. I went last Tuesday and let me tell you…worst massage I have ever gotten. It was a lovely, small Russian woman who I am pretty sure might have killed people in Russia using her bare hands to dismember her victims. I told her in the beginning that I like a lighter touch. If that was her lighter touch, I shudder to think what the regular one was. I told her again that it was too hard and she adjusted for a minute and then went right back to tearing my limbs apart. I kept screaming in my head, THIS IS NOT RELAXING! Then I heard myself say out loud, “I just can’t seem to relax” and she took that to mean do it harder. The form asked if I had any aversions to touch (tickling) and I answered no. I didn’t know that I should have put I have an aversion to pain. Worst 55 minutes spent on a day that Gia was in school.

We have a very happy twin (Belle) and a very sad one (Tommy). We woke up at 4:15 am on Saturday to get Belle ready and to the Sears Centre by 6:15am for her cheerleading competition. Then I had to watch 64 cheer routines until we found out she got first place and a bid to State. So happy for her! Tommy went undefeated in the regular season but lost his game on Sunday meaning his hopes for a rematch with Bartlett in the Superbowl were dashed. It was a heart-breaking way to end such a great season. He was crushed but didn’t have much time to dwell on it because his basketball season started right after he lost the football game.

I got an email last week that the men in our neighborhood were interested in starting a bible study and that some of these men wanted to do service-type projects for the elderly, the sick, single moms or anyone that needs encouragement. They mentioned raking leaves as one of the things they wanted to do. When I read the email, I thought about how nice that was that the men were doing that. Imagine my surprise and horror when I get another email to me and the neighbor that sent out the original email about the men’s group that is from my dear husband saying, “I’ve been trying to get my kids to rake for 3 weeks and it still isn’t done. Send them on over.” I. WAS. MORTIFIED. I quickly responded with, “Nevermind. Leo and the kids are fully capable of raking our leaves. Let the men help those that really need it.” Then I sorta, kinda yelled at Leo asking him what he was thinking and he gave me some story about only seeing the title of the email and reading the last line or something as to how he misunderstood. And yes, on Sunday, the men showed up and did my lawn. I was/am so embarrassed. Of course no one was home here to even go out and help them because no one is ever home. On the bright side, through my embarrassment, my yard looks the best it’s looked in a while. Thanks again, Men!

This little video makes me smile. You get a little of me actually saying no and sticking to it, a little of Gia’s funny expressions on her face and a lot of dancing. It’s a little long but cracks me up so I am sharing it (no one wants to be a Debbie Downer all the time).

What about you? What is going on in your world?

Filed Under: Family, Gia, Isabella, Leo, Random Thoughts, Tommy 6 Comments

Happy 11th Birthday, Tommy and Isabella!

October 18, 2012 By AnnMarie

My all time favorite picture of the two of them.

Dear Tommy,

On your birthday, I am remembering you as a baby who loved to sleep in your dad’s arm pit. Even then you were quirky. I am remembering you dancing to the dog that sang, “Who Let the Dogs Out” and once you got healthy, you were the easiest, happiest baby. As you grew up, I saw what an old soul you had. You just got things. You were kind to everybody. You figured out early on how to get the spotlight and have been there ever since. You love to bust a move to hip hop music. You surprised the nurse at your two-year old appointment when she asked you if you knew your ABC’s. You said, “A. B. C. D. E. F. Little Ditty, ’bout Jack and Diane. Two American kids in the heartland. Jackie gonna be a football star…” Then a year later while getting a shot, the nurse said, “Sing a song,” to distract you from the pain. You broke out with, “Red light, yellow light, green light go. Crazy little woman in a one man show.” All of the people in the office were amazed that you knew the words to “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” I am so proud of you. You love things so fiercely and you work hard to be the best you can. I love that you see CF as a mountain in your way and instead of accepting that it is there and won’t move, you either climb over it or chip away at it. You have a twinkle in your eye and an infectious laugh and I know God sent you here to make sure I laugh every single day. I love you with all my heart.

This captures his personality so well.

Dear Isabella,

On your birthday, I am remembering the sweetest cheeks ever on a baby. They begged to be kissed and I had no problem spending my days kissing them. I am remembering Shirley Temple curls so blond that I couldn’t believe you were mine. I am remembering how even at 2, you were a girly girl. You let Tommy have the spotlight until you realized you had a way to get it yourself. You would dance for anyone that would watch. You were a “mommy’s girl” right from the beginning and I’m not sure there is a kid anywhere that is more like her mother. Even now, I probably should have watched what I said more often because I hear my words coming out of your mouth. Tommy is two minutes older than you but you are more like the older one. You look out for him all the time. You make sure that he is okay. You are going to make a wonderful mom someday. I watch you with Gia and my heart swells with how much you guys love each other. I am so proud of your loyalty and how even when it is uncomfortable or unpopular, you stand up for what you believe is right. You have a smile that lights up the room when you walk in and when you love, you love with your whole heart. I know God sent you here to show me what unconditional love feels like. I love you with all of my heart.

She always let me dress her up like a little doll.

Happy Birthday Tommy and Belle! May this year be filled with happiness, health, no accidents, minimal drama, success in all you do and very little driving your mom crazy. Love you both!

This morning: October 18, 2012

Filed Under: Isabella, Tommy 16 Comments

Essence of Now: Tommy

September 25, 2012 By AnnMarie

Tommy is my comedy relief. He is the “do anything for a laugh” kid. He adores Gia but in a way that makes her go “Tasmanian Devil” on him. They build Lego towers together and she loves him until he pokes at her one time too many. He thinks he’s being brotherly and funny but she needs a little more space than he’s willing to give. He is also the serious kid on the field. He means business and loves football with all that he is. It’s hard to believe he is the same kid. These pictures capture me enjoying Tommy in his essence of now…in who he is at this very moment. The goofball…