Leo has been a little stressed the last two weeks. He’s been running around from work to practices to meetings in other states to both baseball and basketball games. I get it. Sometimes when we are stressed, we say things that maybe we should keep to ourselves. I am guilty of this, too. This is just a helpful post for those of you out there wondering what NOT to say to your wife, the mother of your children, the love of your life:
1. Upon entering the house, “Um…what happened in here?” Do you think it has escaped me that our house is in shambles? This is a saying for a reason, “The house was clean today at 11. Sorry you missed it.” I pick up after Gia all day long. She is the biggest mess-maker of all my kids. I put things away and suddenly, she has a burning desire to play with that very item that sat on the floor the entire morning. The boys use the whole house as their closets. Time for practice? Let’s strip down in the family room and leave our clothes right here. “What happened in here” you ask? Your four children happened in here.
2. “So are you going to tackle this mess in here?” How about you “tackle” the mess? I’ve “tackled” it all day long and I am freaking tired. What’s that? You worked all day and just want to relax? Wow, I can’t imagine how that must feel.
3. “How about instead of laying with Gia, you clean the house?” How about you get on the four children that have made the mess and haven’t lifted a finger to clean it since I have lost my voice yelling at them? How about instead of spending Saturdays shuffling kids from game to game and friend’s house to friend’s house or sitting at Jake’s, we work together to clean the house to start the week off clean and organized? What’s that? Wait, you’re tired and don’t feel like going to battle with the three most stubborn kids on the planet and you don’t feel like spending one of your days off cleaning? Yeah, well, I have been up since 5:45 trying to get our kids up and out of the house on time and then spent the day with the Energizer Bunny and then drove all over God’s green earth so I am just a little bit exhausted at the end of the day and my favorite part, the light at the end of the tunnel is cuddling with Gia who whispers, “You are the best mommy ever” as she drifts off to sleep. So the answer to your question is, “NO.”
4. After waking up from Gia’s room, I was folding the endless laundry that collects here so when this was said, I showed great restraint. “I don’t really like this plan you have going on. You get to nap for two hours and then when I want to go to sleep you are wide awake doing stuff. How is that fair to me?” I have a few things to say about this but I will refrain and instead say this: Poker Club.
5. I know he was joking when he said this but there is always a little truth in the joking: “Can you make sure all of Tommy’s uniforms are clean by Friday?” How about I am in charge of all 9 loads of laundry that we accumulate during the week and you be in charge of Tommy’s uniform since he loves wearing it and then takes it off piece by piece from room to room?
6. “I’m leaving right now.” If this phrase is uttered when you are already a half hour late and it takes a half hour to get home, be ready to face the wrath of a woman counting every second until you are home because it just might be her rare night of getting out with her sisters or friends.
Here are things to definitely say and have been said by Leo several times (to be fair):
1. “You look skinny.” (I could be politically correct and say he should say that I look “healthy” but this is an honest blog and that’s what he said and that’s what made me feel good.) Men, you get a free pass to just about anything when you utter these words. Just trying to help you out.
2. “That blog post was funny.” Just the fact that you are reading it, is major points but that you think I am funny or good at this…that is awesome.
3. “I’ll take the kids on a walk so you can get some stuff done.” Any mention of taking the kids anywhere so that she can get anything done is a big one. It shows that you respect your wife and know that sometimes she needs a break.
4. “I switched out the laundry” or “I ran the dishwasher”. Again, that saying that saying: “What do you call it when a man cleans?” “Foreplay” is a saying for a reason. Maybe TMI but you know you women are nodding in agreement and you men are making plans to run the dishwasher tonight. You’re welcome.
5. “Thank you.” For anything. Sometimes it is just the simple acknowledgement that we went out of our way. To know you appreciate what we do keeps us motivated and feels good.
6. “I love you.” Life gets messy right along with the house. Hearing these three words lets us know we are still in this together.
The tone of this post is to diffuse some of the things that sometimes escape our mouths. I am guilty of it, too. I can just imagine the post Leo could come up with. This is what makes up Leo and me. We get stressed, we take it out on each other, we apologize and we move on. We love each other to our very cores but we also know the exact buttons to push when we lash out. Can you guess what button I am most sensitive about?
What about you? Can you relate? What is something your spouse has uttered that made you say to yourself, “You should never say that again”? Or maybe you have uttered a phrase that you knew you weren’t going to say again?
P.S. This post is poking fun at some of the things said when we aren’t thinking. There is always some truth to the jokes, like I said, but it is a joke nonetheless.