Mommy Bloggers (I wear that name and say that with pride) or women bloggers are a dime a dozen. We flood the internet with our thoughts of marriage and motherhood. Daddy bloggers are a little more rare. When you meet a Daddy blogger, you pretty much jump for joy because it is so nice to hear the other side. It’s even better when the other side makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts. Eli from Coach Daddy is one of the funniest, sweetest bloggers out there. His love for his girls and coaching shine through and through. In his own words, “I’m sometimes sappy, sometimes satirical, often both at once. I’ll tell you how lousy I am at this game, and how much I love it.”

Be sure to welcome him and show him some love by commenting below.

Thanks, Eli for this glimpse into the teen boy’s brain and heart. A lot of us have one and it’s like having a brand new toy (one that destroys everything in sight and eats us out of house and home all the while complaining that we are lame) with no idea what to do with it. Seeing the side that you talk about here helps see them in a different light.

This story’s familiar. It involves a boy, and a girl. He’s kind of crazy about the girl.

This girl really gets to the boy. And he has no idea what to call it. It pushes him this way, pulls him that. Sometimes, all at once. It’s baffling. Confusing. More than anything, math included. He – we – can’t even ask why this is, we just know it is. And we can’t seem to shake it.

When you’re this boy, and grown-ups discount you as a hormonal stew of bad decisions and cracking voices, so very little makes sense.

When you’re this boy, and you’re the grown-up and your hormonal stew has become more of a hormonal meatloaf and cracking voice has gone away but the bad decisions haven’t necessarily, so very little still makes sense.

One thing’s for sure: It’s about the girl. And it gets a hold of the boy like nothing else. She’s about as confusing as the feeling itself. When she’s around, it happens. I know this, because I see this boy, who sees my daughter, in this way.

I know, because we’ve all been this boy. Most of us still are.

Nobility plays a role. We’ll save our potato chips or lunch dessert – the best part, right? – just for her. Doesn’t matter if she didn’t ask for it. We wish for that day her pencil rolls off her desk and lands at our feet, so we have that made-for-TV moment we can step in to help and utter something absolutely charming and heart-stealing.

When really, the idea of being in that spot is about as scary as we can imagine.

How bad’s it feel? Wrap up two or three childhood fears – like, say, heights, snakes and Darth Maul –roll them into one and wrap it in jagged glass and barbed wire.

Get it?

Nature’s no help. It’ll help baby possums know how to play dead and baby pigeons to poop on clean cars, but when it comes to learning from the girl-induced mistakes our forefathers committed from Mayan Mexico to Colonial America, you’re on your own, kid.

We don’t know we won’t explode in a mess of lightning and dust if we simply say “hello” to our crush.

We don’t have much time to get it right. We’ll never solve the Mystery of Girl, and some of us will actually win a match or two and find ourselves propagating the species.

But let’s get back to the boy, today. He sits sideways in his chair in class, just waiting. Not with the urgency of a hungry coyote tracking the heard, but of the kid at the end of the bench, just waiting for the coach to yell, “get a bat! You’re next!”

He’s confused, he’s scared, but he’s sincere. He’s kind.

I know, because we’ve all been this boy. Most of us still are.

My advice to my girl, when faced with this boy?

Treat him with kindness, no matter what. Recognize his sincerity and admiration, but feel no obligation to return the affection. See past deceptive charm, false words, foolish pride. Don’t be blinded by good looks, deafened by sweet words.

As for the boy …

I’m not going to pretend to have a bullet waiting with your name on it. I don’t own a gun. I’m more than 40 years into this, and I still haven’t solved it. We’re kind of in this together. I just want to tell you …

Stand strong, shoulders back. Confidence, not cockiness. Charm is true, not a means to an end. Invest your interest in her. Believe you have something to offer, too, not just salty snack foods. Because you do have something to offer.

Sometimes, the insincere guy with wavy-hair and heart-melting smile will win. He often does.

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a sort of playoff with another boy, and her friends might even keep score, and she just might choose him over you, and there’s nothing you can do.

Sometimes, the world feels wrought with inconsiderate action and selfish notions, but the pure and true admiration for this girl is what matters most.

Some days, you’re the birthday boy.

Some days, you’re the pinata.

Trust your convictions. Act with patience. Civility and kindness aren’t always easy, but they’re the difference between dignity and pride.

Sometimes, you’ll try your best to do your best, but just can’t.seem.to.ever.get.it.right.

We all go through it.

I know, because we’ve all been this boy. Most of us still are.

P. S. If you visit Coach Daddy, you’ll see that he is really good at adding pictures to his blog to make them look a lot more professional. I am still learning the ropes at adding pictures that I don’t take. He does it the right way. I still feel a little bumbling.

So, go check out his blog. You won’t be sorry and make sure you follow him either through email or on Twitter so you don’t miss a thing!

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