I am a teacher. It is in my blood whether I am actively teaching or not. I am sitting down here while Leo is helping Belle with her homework and I am lying to myself. I am telling myself that I am catching up on computer stuff but really I am hiding down here. I am fully capable of helping Belle with her homework but she is incredibly hard to help and I get mad. She gets frustrated easily and won’t listen to reason. There is a good reason she’s overwhelmed. I understand but in the interest of not damaging our relationship, Leo needs to help her.
For those not on Facebook, it’s her right wrist and it’s broken:
Gia still sleeps in our bed. She doesn’t every night but more often than the other three ever did. The big lie here is that she needs me to fall asleep. Should I just be honest here? Raising the teen and the tweens, I think it’s me that needs her. I know what’s coming. I know she isn’t going to be little for long. She is everything good in this world. She is sweet and loving and hearing her breathe next to me at night fills me with peace. I know it has to do with loss. I know it has to do with fear and I know dwelling on those two things isn’t good for anyone over here. She isn’t going to be this little forever.
I know it doesn’t mean to be lies but they are and they bug me. The lies that teens and tweens tell in order to do something they want. “I won’t give you a hard time going to church”, “I’ll clean the playroom,” “I’ll babysit Gia,” “I won’t be tired” and so on. And then suddenly, they have memory loss when they ask to do something again and I bring up how they didn’t live up to their end the last time.
Some little, less bugging lies:
1. I’m just going to put my head down for one second.
2. If I eat this cookie and no one sees, I didn’t really eat it, did I?
3. I’m not really hiding this candy for myself, I’m saving the kids from getting cavities.
4. “I don’t know why Fishing/Poker didn’t record on the DVR.”
5. It’s okay to drop Gia off at preschool in what I wore to bed because it looks like clothes and I’m wearing a big jacket so no one will notice.
6. I watch RuPaul’s Drag Race because it is so far from my reality. It is but I really watch it because of the drama, drama, drama and I’m fascinated with the fact that drag queens are better at putting on make-up than I am.
7. It’s not good to wash my hair often. I know this is true but it’s not why I don’t wash my hair often. It’s mostly because I am too lazy to wash, dry, straighten and curl my hair.
And the biggest lie of them all:
I am only going to go on the computer for 20 minutes.
What lies are swirling around your world?