It’s right around this time of year that I start to feel all warm and fuzzy. The holidays are coming and I look forward to getting a break from the hustle and bustle that four kids and a husband make. I look forward to spending time with family and making memories.
Something strange is going on here because I am not feeling this way this year. All I am feeling is the need to pack up my kids and head out of town.
I want to be reminded of why I got married and why we started a family. You guys, I’m going to admit this to you all. I’m waving the white flag over here. I am tired. Not I need a nap (though I do) tired but mentally tired. In the last month, Leo was gone for three of the four weeks. The first two weeks it was for three days and he’s always home on the weekends but I absolutely hate when he is gone. I know he has to. He works hard at his job and is good at it but when he is gone, I feel like I am an insomniac in quicksand. I don’t sleep. At all. Remember the last post? The one about my hearing? Well, that spills over when Leo is gone. I’m afraid I am not going to hear the kids so I stay up and then I hear a TON of noises. No sleep for three or four days equals one Crabby Mommy.
I want to start a bible study/prayer group for Belle and girls her age. I really want to run it for both the twins but separately otherwise it would be a party. I want to make it special and have treats and discussions about how to lean on God during this time in their life. I want them to understand that they might feel like the whole world is against them but that is when they need to turn to God and pray. I try to get them to the youth portion at Wheaton Bible but they would rather go to church. When we are there, they ask a million questions. It makes me wonder if other kids their age have the same questions. The teacher in me thinks it would make a difference. There is so much drama in adolescence that I think kids need some outlet. Having taught religious education for 5 years, I think it’s what might be missing. Wouldn’t this time be easier if everyone felt compelled to be nice.
That being said, I have a post in the works about tween girl drama. I am sick of it. Really sick of it. Again, drama equals Crabby Mommy.
You know when you see people out in public that look haggard and tired and shell-shocked? You might think that they have just weathered a storm but chances are they are just the parent of a teen. I am such an enabler with Nico. I swear, I need a support group for parents that enable their firstborns. Nico comes up to me needing help on a paper and I help him (or try). Tommy comes up to me and the fear of raising another child that is needy forces me to say, “Tommy, you are a smart kid. You can figure this out yourself.” Nico’s back hurts and I’m looking for a chiropractor. Belle’s back hurt her and I didn’t want to pay $30 for a back brace. I finally realized that was going on and bought her the back brace and helped Tommy with his paper but really…I want to stop enabling Nico. I think it’s why he drives me the most crazy. Nico’s neediness equals Crabby Mommy.
There is more that I need to say but as usual, someone needs me to drive them somewhere. I’m going to post this because I already have 10 posts that I didn’t because I got called away. At this rate, I am never going to get anything posted.
What about you? What makes you Crabby Mommy?