Crabby Mommy

It’s right around this time of year that I start to feel all warm and fuzzy. The holidays are coming and I look forward to getting a break from the hustle and bustle that four kids and a husband make. I look forward to spending time with family and making memories.

Something strange is going on here because I am not feeling this way this year. All I am feeling is the need to pack up my kids and head out of town.

I want to be reminded of why I got married and why we started a family. You guys, I’m going to admit this to you all. I’m waving the white flag over here. I am tired. Not I need a nap (though I do) tired but mentally tired. In the last month, Leo was gone for three of the four weeks. The first two weeks it was for three days and he’s always home on the weekends but I absolutely hate when he is gone. I know he has to. He works hard at his job and is good at it but when he is gone, I feel like I am an insomniac in quicksand. I don’t sleep. At all. Remember the last post? The one about my hearing? Well, that spills over when Leo is gone. I’m afraid I am not going to hear the kids so I stay up and then I hear a TON of noises. No sleep for three or four days equals one Crabby Mommy.

I want to start a bible study/prayer group for Belle and girls her age. I really want to run it for both the twins but separately otherwise it would be a party. I want to make it special and have treats and discussions about how to lean on God during this time in their life. I want them to understand that they might feel like the whole world is against them but that is when they need to turn to God and pray. I try to get them to the youth portion at Wheaton Bible but they would rather go to church. When we are there, they ask a million questions. It makes me wonder if other kids their age have the same questions. The teacher in me thinks it would make a difference. There is so much drama in adolescence that I think kids need some outlet. Having taught religious education for 5 years, I think it’s what might be missing. Wouldn’t this time be easier if everyone felt compelled to be nice.

That being said, I have a post in the works about tween girl drama. I am sick of it. Really sick of it. Again, drama equals Crabby Mommy.

You know when you see people out in public that look haggard and tired and shell-shocked? You might think that they have just weathered a storm but chances are they are just the parent of a teen. I am such an enabler with Nico. I swear, I need a support group for parents that enable their firstborns. Nico comes up to me needing help on a paper and I help him (or try). Tommy comes up to me and the fear of raising another child that is needy forces me to say, “Tommy, you are a smart kid. You can figure this out yourself.” Nico’s back hurts and I’m looking for a chiropractor. Belle’s back hurt her and I didn’t want to pay $30 for a back brace. I finally realized that was going on and bought her the back brace and helped Tommy with his paper but really…I want to stop enabling Nico. I think it’s why he drives me the most crazy. Nico’s neediness equals Crabby Mommy.

There is more that I need to say but as usual, someone needs me to drive them somewhere. I’m going to post this because I already have 10 posts that I didn’t because I got called away. At this rate, I am never going to get anything posted.

What about you? What makes you Crabby Mommy?

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Comments

  1. My husband was just gone one night, and it was hard! It must be so hard to have your husband travel for weeks at a time!

    My girls have been bickering a lot, and my 6 year old, Emmy, still knows how to throw major temper tantrums. That definitely makes me a Crabby Mommy!
    Ginny Marie recently posted..Temptation {Spin Cycle}My Profile

  2. Reading this post is almost scary….why? Ashley and I had the IDENTICAL talk today about how needy our first borns are compared to our younger kids. I’m not kidding you…THE EXACT CONVERSATION. It’s not just you!!
    Robert was gone part of this week and it’s just exhausting. I had to get my inlaws to help just to get everyone where they needed to be after school (wrestling meet and dance). I feel like I am living the Crabby Mommy lifestyle. Blergh! –Lisa

  3. Overstimulation and feeling like I don’t have control. So pretty much every day I’m fighting against myself! Some days I win, and others are just a reminder that I will be able to have a fresh start the next day :)
    angela recently posted..Playing PiratesMy Profile

    • I’ve been losing a lot more than winning these day. :( Those are two really good ones. I hate the feeling of not being in control. That one puts me over the edge.

  4. I can so relate to the teen/tween drama – not sure if I will survive my daughter’s teen years. The worst part is the hurt I feel on her behalf and wanting to charge in and tell off all the mean girls… It’s tough!!! Hang in there!
    I also CANNOT sleep when my husband isn’t around – pretty much for the same reasons – I’m afraid I won’t hear the kids and then I end up hearing all kinds of weird noises.
    Sometimes, being a mommy is tough, tough, tough…
    Susi recently posted..Follow Friday Four Fill In Fun { 139 }My Profile

  5. The list of things that can trigger my inner crab is WAY to long. Lack of sleep is close to the top. If I don’t get enough sleep I just can’t function!
    susan recently posted..A Christmas Wish List for BloggersMy Profile

    • Mine could have gone on and on. Actually, it might be the list that keeps me up all night which leads to more crabbiness. Thanks for reading! I can’t wait to check out your Christmas List for bloggers.

  6. isn’t it amazing how our firstborns are so HIGH MAINTENANCE? That is why that word is Cassidy’s nickname! lam so

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea of having a youth group for each kid!! I am THRILLED that you are going to go forward with this incredible idea!! All kids at that age need to learn to have God in their lives… it’s the hardest time of their lives- where they are trying to find themselves amidst the pressure of peers and the world they are slowly growing to know.

    BRAVO crabby mom!! And I do pray you can rest… somehow…
    Chris Carter recently posted..And Another Thing…(About My Tumor)My Profile

    • I’m glad it’s not just my first born. I really do want to start a group for girls that are Belle’s age. I need to get organized and see if there is a desire among girls she knows.

  7. ((HUGS)) I’m so sorry you are struggling AnnMarie. My husband travels a lot for work, but his parents live next door and are more than willing to help so it’s not quite as overwhelming. Plus, mine aren’t teenagers yet. My youngest is the needy one and I find myself enabling and encouraging her all the time. I need to let go and let her grow up some.

    I love the Bible study of youth idea. I went to my oldest’s Middle school youth group ;sat Sunday a was very disappointed. It was a great opportunity of the kids to really get something out of and they didn’t.

    Anyway, I hope you can find a way to take a little break – to get away for just a bit – so you can get refreshed and rejuvenated and enjoy this season.
    Lisa @ The Golden Spoons recently posted..ThankfulMy Profile

    • That’s exactly it. I know exactly what I want in a group for them and I haven’t found one that they are comfortable with or that I feel is a good fit. I’m getting a break in about a half hour (sssh, don’t tell my family).

  8. I fear that I’m often crabby mommy. I just don’t like when I’m finally sitting down to eat or work or read or watch TV, and I hear that loud, whiny “MAMA!” Ugh. I can’t.
    Tamara recently posted..My Very Thankful Heart.My Profile

    • YES!!!!! That drives me crazy! I get that times 4. With Nico being the loudest. I can’t stand when I finally sit down to eat and they are asking for seconds. First, let me take one freaking bite and second, get up and get it yourself.

  9. My husband being out of town seems to magnify things for me and make me crabbier.

    I have the opposite problem with my kids- I feel like I tell my oldest all the time that he can do something on his own and then I baby his younger brothers. I can’t seem to find a good balance.
    Shell recently posted..When You Know What You’re DoingMy Profile

    • Now that you mention it, Gia falls under that category, too. I guess it’s the middles that I expect to do things on their own. Let me know if you ever find that balance. :)

  10. Oh honey, I think you are just aces with this motherhood thing. I have been in such a crabby, not-fun place with it for a bit now, and reading your stuff always encourages me…and makes me feel less alone. Just that you have these goals and hopes for your kids is admirable. And I love you. xo.

    • And I love you for this comment. Thank God for friends that are there to tell you that you don’t always suck. :) The fact that you just said that reading my stuff encourages you means so much to me. XO

  11. That is so funny that you said that about Nico…our oldest was kind of the same way, but he’s outgrown it. I’m not a very good enabler. But I definitely helped him with more things than the other two. And what you were saying to you other children…I have said the same things! We all have our moments, hang in there.
    Michelle recently posted..Goalrilla GAMEMAKER Soccer Goal Review and Giveaway (RV $179.99)My Profile

  12. I can’t say I understand completely, I don’t. I was only blessed with one child & she’s 9, but, she’s a DIVA, all uppercase… I think this can sometimes be just as bad, the only child… anyways, bless your heart!

    My daughter is in a youth group that’s 3rd- 5th grade & we call it young saints. I also grew up in our church & attended young saints when I was a kid, we then of course have youth group for middle & high school, but, our church found that we needed to keep our older (yet still not old enough) kids involved. It works really well.
    Amber Day Hicks recently posted..Kensie’s FAVE pinterest recipeMy Profile

    • Oh, I completely agree that it is sometimes harder with one. Gia, being 8 years younger than the twins and 11 years younger than Nico is sometimes raised like an only child. The older ones are busy doing their stuff and it’s just Gia and me or Gia, Leo and me and she’s 3 and she’s a DIVA!

      I really want to start one and have to get myself organized enough to do it and then see if anyone would actually come.

  13. I have had a crap year and can relate to all you say in this post. My kids are 18, 13 and NEARLY 8( if she lives that long). I have been mentally at the edge and physically crumbling. I spent the first 2 weeks in hawaii by myself, no husband and no kids. I went for a singing thing. After the second day and a swim in the warm ocean I felt myself relax for the first time in ages. I so needed the time out. I have come back healthy in mind and body. I am coping with everything so much better. I thouroghly recommend time off from everything. Even for a weekend. Grab a girlfriend and have some time out. Make sure it is someone who will let you crash and do nothing if that is what you want. I think as parents and especially mothers we push ourselves beyond our limits to ensure that everything gets done. Don’t forget you. You are the glue and if you aren’t working corettly the glue doesn’t work and it all falls apart. Hey I even made dinner 3 nights this week so must be feeling better.

    • I love this comment so much. Not the part about you having a crap year but the part about you getting to take a break and in Hawaii, no less. I think you are 100% right. We DO need to take a break. I need to schedule one, ASAP! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. :)

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