The odd years have been hard ones. Since the time when I realized bad things happen to good people.

In 1989, I was in the car accident and my Papa died. That year was the first time I felt the loss of a loved one. Both physical and emotional. But…I started dating Leo so there was a silver lining.

In 1991, my Nana died. That loss was a great one. I was still grieving my Papa and I couldn’t imagine a life or a world without them in it.

In 1993, Leo’s dad died. It was an awful, awful time. The silver lining there was I started teaching.

There was a reprieve from yuckiness or not huge yuckiness because I can’t remember anything bad happening for a few years.

In 1997, I battled infertility. The silver lining was my niece, Natalie was born and becoming an aunt was the most awesome thing ever. I also finally got pregnant with Nico (after much heartache and longing).

In 1999, I was told if I wanted more kids, I had to get pregnant sooner, rather than later and had an ectopic pregnancy. Treatments and meds followed for the rest of that year.

In 2001, we found out Nico and Tommy had CF. The silver lining was the twins were born.

In 2003, we were in and out of emergency rooms for Isabella’s urinary reflux.

In 2005, Belle had e coli and was in the hospital for a week.

In 2007, Tommy had his lung mishap and we lost Rocco.

Life switched it up a bit and 2008 was harder than 2009. We lost my Grams in 2008 and the world lost a little of its sparkle.

In 2011, we had the dumb cancer scare with a lot of surgeries and life-stopping moments. I say “dumb” because while I am unbelievably grateful that it ended up being a misdiagnosis, it was ridiculous to have it happen. Then I wonder, was it a misdiagnosis or prayers answered? Either way, it feels insulting to people that are really battling cancer.

It’s 2013 and I want to jump in and say, this year will be different! This year will be a great one. I want to say that but I won’t. I want to write all the things I hope to accomplish and make resolutions and promises but I am not going to do that. Instead, I am going to enter 2013 with a smile and a prayer: Please let me remember that wherever I am or whatever I am doing is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. Please help me trust You to know what is best for me. That if You bring me to it, You’ll bring me through it. I love that quote and if it is a bible verse, I am really bad at remembering them so if you want to tell me which one it is in the comments, I won’t be offended. :)

The trust verse that I am going to try and remember is Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Thanks, Pam.

Trust. That is my word for 2013. Trust that I am not in control of the things that will happen but I am in control of how I react to them. Trust that we will all be okay. Trust that I have people praying for us and making sure we are okay. Trust that with no expectations or resolutions, I will not be disappointed or pressured. I will just BE.


What about you? Expectations, goals, resolutions or just one word for 2013?


Linking up with Shell:

And Mama Kat:

Mama’s Losin’ It

Related Posts:


  1. Oh, girl! I give you credit for not running and hiding under the nearest table with earthquakes like that for your odd years. Oh, goodness.

    I love your word.

    I decided to forgo traditional resolutions and go with an overarching word, too. I chose “movement” because I’d like to move on so many issues, but that reminded me of bowel movement so I had to change that as my theme. That made me cheat a little to pick a two word “Keep Moving” which is my goal. I just want to fight the stasis and keep moving forward with so many things. (I left the forward out of my official word because I’d already stretched it to two words and I thought three was pushing it.)

    Happy New Year! It’s really just the even 2012 +1 —-Lisa

    • This had me laughing out loud. “Movement” as in bowel movement…Hahahaha!! And then not wanting to stretch it by using three since you already used 2, I am dying over here! :) :)

      That is a great word (or phrase) and I can’t wait to move forward with you.

      I love the 2012 +1.

  2. This may sound strange, but I have been afraid of this year because it ends in ’13’. Weird, I know, but I guess I’m superstitious.

    Lets make this year different, ok?

  3. Having trust is a good way to start the year. It’s positive, so here’s to a GOOD year.
    Alison recently posted..Farewell, 2012My Profile

  4. Wow!!! Thank you for sharing your journey! I love how you are holding on to trusting that 2013 will be a great year!!!
    Vanessa recently posted...resolutions: love em or hate em?.My Profile

  5. I poo-poo the idea that this year will be unlucky just because it ends in ’13. In fact, I’m ready for it to be a good year! After the crappy three years that my family has had, and me personally being so depressed and motivated, I am ready to put myself out there in so many ways. We’ll see how long that lasts ;), but I am feeling good about this year. I know where you are coming from, AnnMarie. It feels sometimes like if one bad thing happens, it just snowballs from there. But, I resolve to find the happiness in the crappiness, too. And I know you will as well! Glad to be sticking around for this year with you. BlogHer ’13 this summer? It is in Chicago. I’m trying to get up the courage to just register already.
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..TuesdayMy Profile

    • I meant to say “unmotivated” up there. And “the happiness in the crappiness” needs to be a future blog post for me , I think. :)
      Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..TuesdayMy Profile

    • Yes! I want to go to BlogHer badly! I need to pull the trigger as well but of course, never having been to a conference, I am a little intimidated. I really have no excuse with it right here.

      • I am scared to go to BlogHer too!!!! Maybe we should take a deep breath and “jump in” together… can we drink a lot at these gigs? If we are too afraid, we can just stay in our room and talk and get drunk and eat a lot of crap. But it is very expensive…that the hardest part for me. :(

        Anyway- love your word and your scripture AnnMarie! That is one of my favorites… Eyes on Him and whatever rough sees lie ahead (if any- you never know, this may be a smooth year!) you can walk on water if you stay focused on Him. Don’t let go!! :)
        Chris Carter recently posted..New Year Resolution 2013My Profile

  6. Stopping by from Pour Your Heart Out – whatever happens, 2013 will be a big year!

    It’s interesting that you remember odd-numbered years for their tragedy. I always remembered the odd years for being ones where good things happened. Here’s hoping this is the year that my pattern holds true and yours shifts! :)
    Tricia Ballad, Author recently posted..Embracing the UpheavalMy Profile

  7. I really like the idea of using trust as the word for the year. I get a lot of what you are saying here, and the end of your piece especially resonated with me. I know Lisa already commented, but I wanted to say that you are brave.-Ashley

  8. Oh, wow. Just, WOW. Trust is such a brave, brave thing. Happy new year.
    Christie recently posted..Divine Intervention in an Old Navy Parking LotMy Profile

  9. My goodness friend, there is a special place in heaven for you! What a life you have led! I admire your ability to face each day with optimism, and to continue living when many people would have thrown in the towel. I pray for you that 2013 will be full of joy and happiness! Hugs!
    Alexa recently posted..Mission of the MonthMy Profile

  10. Praying that this odd year can be an easy one for you and your family!
    Shell recently posted..Best of the Year (Link-up)My Profile

  11. I love your word. I love your honesty. I could feel your sincerity through your words. I wish you an incredible year. (I had a bit of a cancer scare once, too, and it did give me the silver lining of understanding the raw fear and anxiety that people feel during their interminable waits for answers……)
    Paula Kiger recently posted..Wordless Wednesday (Prayers for Dustin Rhodes Edition)My Profile

    • Thank you so much for your sweet words. I am so glad you stopped by and took the time to comment! I’m sorry that you had a cancer scare, too but it sounds like that you came out on the other end as welll. So nice to see you here.

  12. Trusting in the Lord is a good thing. Here’s to the New Year, hoping it is a good one for you. kelley—the road goes ever ever on

  13. I chose 2 words for the year, simply because I believe you cannot be one without having the other as well. My words were goodness and humility. Trust is a good one as well. It really is so hard sometimes to just leave it be in God’s hands isn’t it. Like a small child with a broke toy we take it to our Father and let him work on some of it then snatch it back. We ignore His warning that it isn’t completely fixed yet but we still want it back, only to have it fall apart again. Trusting that He will give it back to us when it is ready, whatever it is and if He doesn’t than we were not meant to hang onto it so tightly.
    Southern Angel recently posted..Goodness and humility…… PYHOMy Profile

    • That is an awesome analogy!! It is so true. So often we give things to Him and then want to try and take back control. I am going to remember this when I am tempted to take back my broken toy. Really…such a great comment. Thank you!

  14. Oh, I sympathize with you. I accepted that trusting and believing that life will happen with a greater purpose than I could imagine. My life is a lot better and richer with prayer and meditation. You are in my prayers! Warm wishes to you and your family!
    Contessa Grigia recently posted..How I Was Saved By A FriendMy Profile

  15. Reading your post made me look back through the years. The last six have been really painful – lost my dad and my brother, and had to shut down one long time business and srarted two new ones but still struggling to make ends meet. I too hope 2013 brings happiness, a closure to things I need to leave behind and a clear path to success and joy in all things. You’re in my prayers.

    • I will keep you in my prayers as well. I’m sorry you have had to endure such hard times in the past. Hopefully 2013 will bring reason for both of us to celebrate!

  16. I forgot to mention the most emotional thing of last year was my son moving 15 hours away for college! He’s our one and very special only so it has been quite an adjustment!

    • Oh! That would be so hard! I can’t even imagine and in four short years, I”ll be right in your spot (though I have no idea where my son will go). Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  17. As soon as you said the odd years are hard, I immediiately had to agree. I always tend to think this. I hope 2013 is not hard for you, I think with all you have been through that the odd years make you stronger and appriciate the even ones more.
    Julia recently posted..One WordMy Profile

  18. Didn’t you hear? Your bad-luck-in-odd-years contract ran out in 2011. It’s all gravy for 2013.
    Eli@coachdaddy recently posted..5 For Friday: Go Ask Daddy About NFL Matchups, Mascot-Gender Checks and the Perks of Hotel LivingMy Profile

  19. AnnMarie, this was beautiful. I just heard something on the radio yesterday that was talking about how trust can be so scary, even painful at times, but that the comfort that can come in trusting in our Savior is an amazing thing. I loved this post, and am thankful for your words as I’m working on trust myself. Hoping 2013 is full of blessings, or at the very least, an overwhelming peace in trusting…
    Meredith recently posted..I’ve Got Nothing Except a Little TVMy Profile


  1. […] Tonight, Kat asked us to pick one of five “words for the year” and write to that prompt. One option is “trust,” inspired by Queen of Chaos. […]

  2. […] utters these words, I immediately distrust him. Who really says that anyway? Don’t tell me to trust you; show me! It’s like “show me the money” or some great quote like […]

  3. […] by Farewell Stranger) 2.) Release. (inspired by Courtney Kirkland) 3.) Trust. (inspired by Queen of Chaos) 4.) Acceptance. (inspired by Headstrong Damsel) 5.) Creativity. (inspired by Crossroads of the […]

  4. […] by Farewell Stranger) 2.) Release. (inspired by Courtney Kirkland) 3.) Trust. (inspired by Queen of Chaos) 4.) Acceptance. (inspired by Headstrong Damsel) 5.) Creativity. (inspired by Crossroads of the […]

  5. […] by Farewell Stranger) 2.) Release. (inspired by Courtney Kirkland) 3.) Trust. (inspired by Queen of Chaos) 4.) Acceptance. (inspired by Headstrong Damsel) 5.) Creativity. (inspired by Crossroads of the […]

  6. […] Kat’s Famous Writing Workshop!Choose a word and let it inspire a blog post, Trust.(inspired by Queen of Chaos) Every week you’re invited to join Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by responding to one of the […]

  7. pawn shop las vegas blvd


join the conversation


CommentLuv badge

© 2012-2017 Tidbits from the Queen of Chaos All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright

AWSOM Powered