The odd years have been hard ones. Since the time when I realized bad things happen to good people.
In 1989, I was in the car accident and my Papa died. That year was the first time I felt the loss of a loved one. Both physical and emotional. But…I started dating Leo so there was a silver lining.
In 1991, my Nana died. That loss was a great one. I was still grieving my Papa and I couldn’t imagine a life or a world without them in it.
In 1993, Leo’s dad died. It was an awful, awful time. The silver lining there was I started teaching.
There was a reprieve from yuckiness or not huge yuckiness because I can’t remember anything bad happening for a few years.
In 1997, I battled infertility. The silver lining was my niece, Natalie was born and becoming an aunt was the most awesome thing ever. I also finally got pregnant with Nico (after much heartache and longing).
In 1999, I was told if I wanted more kids, I had to get pregnant sooner, rather than later and had an ectopic pregnancy. Treatments and meds followed for the rest of that year.
In 2001, we found out Nico and Tommy had CF. The silver lining was the twins were born.
In 2003, we were in and out of emergency rooms for Isabella’s urinary reflux.
In 2005, Belle had e coli and was in the hospital for a week.
In 2007, Tommy had his lung mishap and we lost Rocco.
Life switched it up a bit and 2008 was harder than 2009. We lost my Grams in 2008 and the world lost a little of its sparkle.
In 2011, we had the dumb cancer scare with a lot of surgeries and life-stopping moments. I say “dumb” because while I am unbelievably grateful that it ended up being a misdiagnosis, it was ridiculous to have it happen. Then I wonder, was it a misdiagnosis or prayers answered? Either way, it feels insulting to people that are really battling cancer.
It’s 2013 and I want to jump in and say, this year will be different! This year will be a great one. I want to say that but I won’t. I want to write all the things I hope to accomplish and make resolutions and promises but I am not going to do that. Instead, I am going to enter 2013 with a smile and a prayer: Please let me remember that wherever I am or whatever I am doing is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. Please help me trust You to know what is best for me. That if You bring me to it, You’ll bring me through it. I love that quote and if it is a bible verse, I am really bad at remembering them so if you want to tell me which one it is in the comments, I won’t be offended.
The trust verse that I am going to try and remember is Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Thanks, Pam.
Trust. That is my word for 2013. Trust that I am not in control of the things that will happen but I am in control of how I react to them. Trust that we will all be okay. Trust that I have people praying for us and making sure we are okay. Trust that with no expectations or resolutions, I will not be disappointed or pressured. I will just BE.
What about you? Expectations, goals, resolutions or just one word for 2013?
Linking up with Shell:
And Mama Kat: