I need to split up this two-day trip in three parts, Leo, NYC and the NFL Luncheon. There is just too much to try to cram into one post and doing it in two would feel equally disjointed.
This first post is going to be a little cornbally (I don’t know if that is a word but I like it and it fits) so if it isn’t your thing, I get it. You can tune in for tomorrow’s.
I love to travel. I didn’t know how much until I couldn’t do it anymore. I had lots of time but no money when I first started (first time I was ever on a plane was when I went to Boston in 1992 and I cried when Leo and I didn’t have seats together. I was 22 and a flying virgin). Then when I had money, I was working and time was limited. Then we had kids right away and well…you know how that goes. The money is sucked right out of you and time? Ha!
Leo and I used to get away once a year and my sister (or cousin) would watch the kids. I didn’t realize how much we needed that time until we didn’t have it anymore (everyone has their own lives now and with four kids, it’s just too hard). When this opportunity came up to go to New York, I was absolutely giddy. The last time I remember being that excited was when I found out I was pregnant with Gia. The day she was born is probably up there as well except it is shadowed by them having to rip my stomach open to get her.
It’s been 23 years and Leo is still my best friend. This trip brought that to light again. There was no bickering. There were no “digs”. No nagging. We hung out (with no time constraints), we talked, we took a thousand pictures and we laughed at things other than our kids or our own mishaps. I told him four things I wanted to do while there the short time and God bless him, he made sure we did them all. Which brings me to the whole reason for this post. We needed this. Maybe all couples don’t need this but we are a couple that does.
We get wrapped up in all that having four kids entails and we forget about us. We forget that we still like to do the same things. We forget that we enjoy being with each other. It was so nice to shut out the rest of the world for two days and just be.
I know not everyone is like this and it might not even be a favorable admission but I need time away. That anxiety that I constantly feel or the ball of stress in my stomach, I think I’d feel it a lot less if I could get away every now and then. I wrote a ton. I felt at peace. I was relaxed. It has NOTHING to do with how much I love my kids. I love them enough to know that I am healthier for them when I can take some time for myself. Some would say that sounds selfish and maybe it is but maybe it is just knowing myself pretty well. Knowing my make-up and that if I don’t get time away to regroup, I feel a little crazy and a mom who feels like she is going crazy isn’t good for anyone.
The greeting I got when I got home from the kids, I can’t get that if I am always here. Sometimes it takes doing without to realize how good we have it. I missed my kids while I was gone. Absolutely but how can we ever appreciate what we have without knowing what it would be like not to have it? On both sides.
Even knowing I am like that doesn’t mean that I will always get to do it. At least not to this extent. It’s a lot for someone else to take on. So for now, I’ll stick with weekly Barnes and Noble trips for myself and dinner or a movie once in a while for Leo and me and hope that from time to time, we’ll get to get away to rediscover and reinvent our love story (I told you…cornbally but I can’t help it…it fits).
I want to thank my family for helping me. Without you guys, I wouldn’t have been able to go. I want to especially thank my dad for staying with the kids. It went off without a hitch. I know my mom would have stayed here except that she couldn’t get off work so thanks for lending dad to me for two days. Thanks to Jen and Kim for getting Nico back and forth to school and practice.
A huge thanks to Leo for going with me. You knew this was important to me and you made the two days seem like a week. Thanks for hitting all the things I wanted to in the short time we were there. I had a blast with you and look forward to many more travels at some point in our lives. Love you.
Pouring my heart out with Shell today: