Dear Men,
I’m not sure this pertains to all of you so if not, take it with a grain of salt. Do you have the kind of wife or girlfriend that cooks for you? Does she do the best she can to make sure that you have dinner every night? Even if you can’t make it home, does she make sure your kids are fed? If she does, perhaps you should implement a new rule to make sure that your lovely significant other doesn’t live a lifetime of resenting you or wanting to throw a frying pan at your head. The very frying pan she just cooked your dinner it, I might add. How about having the rule that if she cooks, you clean it up? That’s what Leo and I did waaaaay back when we first got married. It has worked wonders for us. It has saved so much aggravation and anger at having to do both tasks which at one time was enjoyable (at least the cooking) but now causes me to want to pull my hair out.
See, it started because we both worked and it didn’t seem fair that both dinner and clean-up fell to me to do. I could have argued that I was in charge of 27 second graders all day long and got a lot less money than he did for, I believe at the time, looking at things spinning on a computer so maybe he should have done both but I didn’t. I happily took the job of cooking while he happily took the job of clean-up. When the decision was made that I would stay home with Nico so I was no longer working outside of the house, we still kept up this rule because I think he knew that arguing that I was home all day doing nothing while he was at work, still watching things spinning…maybe with all different colors, was going to cause me to go all exorcist on him.
We’ve been doing this the entire time we have been married and for the most part, it works. Obviously there are times when I do both and sometimes he does both but for the most part, I highly recommend you trying this in your homes. Even if your wife or girlfriend says, “No, thanks,” you’ll still get major points for suggesting it.
I will give you this tip, though: Men, cleaning the kitchen after dinner does not mean putting everything in the sink to “soak”. It is a short distance from the sink to the dishwasher. Take the step, Men. Put them in the dishwasher. Your wife spends the extra money on Cascade Complete so that there is no need to soak. She wants to come downstairs in the morning to a clean kitchen, not a full sink.
Oh, and moving everything aside on the counter is not cleaning the counter. Things actually have a place in the cabinets that though your wife would love to be able to put things away as she cooks, she probably has a two (now maybe 3) year old hanging on her and three other kids asking for help with their homework. She might even have to stop in the middle to go pick up kids because it’s her day for the carpool.
Oh, one last thing: the table counts in the clean-up.
Linking up with Mama Kat:
I am a stay at home mom, married to my college sweetheart, Leo. We have four kids, Nico, Tommy, Isabella and Gia. We have a son, Rocco that is an angel in Heaven.
I love this! My husband is actually the one who cleans the kitchen each night…but he NEEDS TO READ your one last thing because he does not understand that the table is part of the deal!!
–Lisa
The Dose of Reality recently posted..The Fastest Way To Get Laughed Out Of The Emergency Room
I love that you guys have the same thing going on over there. I hate coming down (because while he cleans I am usually getting Gia ready for bed) to more stuff to do. I keep saying if we work together, we can both relax for the rest of the night.
After almost 34 years of marriage,I still do both most of the time. He does occasionally cook BUT if he does,then I clean up. Hmmm,what is wrong with that pic. Also,often will not put his dishes in the dishwasher,a habit our 26 year old son has inherited. Last night the 3 things he used were stacked neatly on the kitchen table along with a used paper towel which he also leaves lying around frequently. I will say he does try to help if he can tell I need it badly.
Yes, my kids are the same way. They sit three feet away from the dishwasher and still leave their plates on the table. It takes a few requests to get them to throw them away. What is that?
Yeah so can’t complain about this.. Especially since I videoed him doing the hard pots for my Palmolive review and posted it on Youtube and my blog for all the world to see. He does good. Now picking up his socks when he takes them off in the living room is a whole other issue..
Southern Angel recently posted..When I grow up I want to be…. Monday Listicles..
Socks would definitely deserve their own post over here. For whatever reason, my family cannot keep their socks on.
HA! I love this!!! You know what my hubs does?? If I leave something in the sink…he gently moves it ASIDE and cleans his own plates!!! I come home and see “my dirty dishes” sitting on the counter and the rest cleaned up!! Really? To each HIS own I suppose… geesh!
Chris Carter recently posted..Natural Childbirth…
That is pretty funny. I haven’t encountered that one. I guess it would be nice to have some of the dishes clean but doesn’t he feel guilty that he is only doing some? I don’t think I could just do some without doing them all.
Haha! I think my husband needs to read this
Though to be fair, some days he offers to wash up and I decline. Mostly because I have a routine of washing, then drying and putting everything away immediately. I don’t like the drying rack to be full. I know, OCD. (and yes, we don’t have a dishwasher)
Alison recently posted..10 Truths I Learned In 3 Years Of Imperfect Parenting
With four kids, I’d be lost without a dishwasher. Seriously lost. Sometimes I wish I had just an ounce of OCDness. I have the opposite. PDAD (procrastinating doing anything disorder).
My hubby and I used to split things up, but I think when my older two started sports and I was home with the baby I took on more responsiblity and always did both. And now we are having a hard time breaking the habit (or maybe it is just he who is having a hard time).
Often I make him clean up with me. Though he will try to slack off a little, I usually get him back in line becuase I like the kitchen a certain way at the end of the night.
And how did you get a picture of my kitchen table????
Heather recently posted..My 3rd Child is $$$$
This comment made me laugh. Maybe Leo and I should switch things up and do it together. There are times when I come back downstairs after giving Gia a bath and putting her to bed and I want to cry at how the kitchen was left but I have no energy at that point and that means the following day will start with the day before’s mess. It’s a vicious circle.
Oh boy does kurt need to read this! He always offers to help, I’ll give him that. But his helping isn’t really helping at all. He moves at a snails pace and he never fully gets the job done. It makes more work and frustrations for me.
Yeah, I get that. I feel like the bare minimum is done and the bulk of it left for me. That frustrates me to no end.
Don’t think I need to add anything to this wonderful list. Hope some men will listen and pay attention. I do the clean-up more often than not because the husband cooks quite bit and our boy has the task of clearing and wiping the table after dinner. It works pretty well.
Susi recently posted..Picture Perfect Weekly #4 {Breaks, Bike Rides and Make Up}
See, that is one of the main reasons why I think it is so important to eat as a family! The whole family can pitch in and help with clean-up. I can’t remember the last meal we all had together. Pretty sad.
What would *I* say to men everywhere? Stick together. This is a no-win for us. The best thing you can do is become a decent cook, so that when you do make dinner, she’ll have a tougher time griping because you’ve just made a stupendous chicken alfredo. With veggies, even.
They say they want us to help, but they really don’t. We don’t use the right towel. We let something that might have touched raw chicken fat come in contact with something we might have to cut veggies on. Someday.
We don’t load the dishwasher right, don’t put the casserole dishes in the right place, and definitely don’t put the spices back where they aught to go.
So, men, just praise her for what she does. And bring a bottle of wine.
Eli@coachdaddy recently posted..Cheese goes on everything. Even cheese.
I LOVE that last line. Yes! Yes! Yes!
You are also right about the rest of it, too. I laughed out loud about the raw chicken and veggie. That is so true, it is scary!
I have plenty of other complaints but not this. It took years but my husband now helps me around the house without me haivng to ask. Lately he was becoming lazy and I asked him if he wanted to switch and I could go work and he can stay home and care for Sophie and take care of the million other things I do in a day. He bounced back with no problem.
I’ve used that and it still doesn’t work. Glad to hear it works for you.
Love this! I usually cook, my husband usu cleans, but cleaning to him means cleaning most of the way, but not always all the way, so most of the time there is still stuff in the sink in the morning. It does drive me crazy when it happens.
Michelle recently posted..Grow Your Blog by Participating in a Blog Challenge