I was a second grade teacher for many years. If you have been following, you know that with everything that I am, I loved my job. I loved my students as if they were my own. I didn’t know and still don’t know how to be any other way. School shootings strike me at my very core. They hit me as a teacher and they hit me as a mother. There are enough problems and reservations about sending our kids out into the world anyway without worrying whether they are going to be gunned down. And to worry about that when we send them to school….unfathomable.
I will say only two things about the shooter who I won’t even mention by name. I hope he rots in Hell and that this time should not be about him. This time should be about mourning the victims and praying for their families. This time should be about discussing the teachers and administrators that put their lives on the lines for their students. And the students…the children…hearts are breaking all over the world while discussing them.
What now? Where do we go now? Talking about the funny things the kids do, the aggravating things they do, how frustrated we are with our husbands, even how grateful we are all seems pointless. In the face of such pain in the world, how can we complain? It’s hard to move on from this. It’s hard to put thoughts down, have conversations unrelated to this, celebrate the holiday season or even smile or laugh knowing that this has happened but if we stop laughing or smiling or writing or celebrating the little things and the big things, then the psychos of the world win. Whether they want to be famous or make everyone as miserable as they are, they will succeed and we can’t let that happen.
We will all hug our kids a little tighter. We will remember to say, “I love you” when they leave the house because we all got a horrific reminder that there are no guarantees. We will kiss their cheeks and thank God that they are home safe but because they are human and we are human, they will still frustrate us. They will continue to do funny things that we will want to share. Motherhood and marriage will happen and we will want to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly because that is what we do.
The saddest realization of any tragedy, senseless or not is that life goes on. As much as we want it to stop and let us catch our breath, it doesn’t let us. It keeps moving. So, we will never forget and we will keep praying for those that lost their lives at the hand of someone who was pure evil but we will keep moving forward. Because what other choice do we have?