Disclaimer: If you are a man, you might not want to read this. Unless, of course you want to understand women a little more but don’t say I didn’t warn you that it might be a little TMI.
There are four weeks in a month. That means that I have about 2 good weeks a month. Why, you ask? Because I am a woman. A woman who has all of her parts and they are still working. Like clockwork every month.
I really believe that hormones might be the work of the devil. Yes, I know we need them for our bodies to work properly. Without them, our reproductive systems wouldn’t work properly and getting pregnant would be near impossible. So I have my hormones to thank for my children, whom I love dearly. Maybe I should be a little more clear. I think estrogen and progesterone are the work of the devil.
Once a month, I could probably enter a food eating contest and win big money. I am so hungry that all sense about watching what I eat flies out the window. I have been known to eat a dozen cookies (maybe more), half a chocolate cake and a bag of Jordan almonds. And I wonder why I am not losing weight? Well working out all the time, watching what I am eating most days and then eating like that for a week will throw a wrench in any diet plan. It is the week before all Hell breaks loose that I can be found hiding in my closet eating pretzel M&M’s. It is the week before that Lou Malnati’s is on speed dial and God help the person that stands between me and chocolate and strawberries (even though I am not supposed to have them anymore).
That’s just the ravenous hunger. Let’s talk about the killer headaches and cramps and exhaustion that sideline even the busiest of moms. It’s only been recently that the headaches have been added. Headaches so bad that I can actually feel the hormone surge. Cramps that have me doing my Lamaze breathing (at least it was good for something…three c-sections later). There is the ”I was up all night partying” tired. There is the “I have a toddler who refuses to sleep on her own” tired and there is the “I am a woman so once a month, I fall asleep at the computer at 2pm and again at 7:30pm” tired for no other reason other than my hormones are going bonkers.
And the mood swings…ahhhh…the mood swings and the irritability. I resent with all of my being when I am ranting about something and Leo asks, “Is it that time of the month?” I am pretty sure shoes have flown past his head after daring to ask that question. The issues that I am yelling about are always there but admittedly come to a head the week before or the week I am due. Then when it finally makes its arrival, I cry over everything. The sight of Gia sleeping, Nico hugging me, the twins not fighting, Leo showing up with hot chocolate, a blog post about rival football teams….it all reduces me to tears. I have been known to call Leo crying about how fast time is going and how pretty soon, Nico is going to be going to college. When I am yelling or crying, I even realize the issue should not be as intense as it feels but am powerless to stop it.
I feel bad for anyone that comes in contact with me for two weeks out of the month. I am better off hiding under a rock otherwise my uncensored mouth and the fact that EVERYTHING bugs me is not going to win me any congeniality contests. I couldn’t understand why normally Leo on my side of the bed breathing like a puffer fish never bothered me but suddenly, sleeping in the toddler bed didn’t seem like such a bad idea. I usually have no problem ignoring Nico’s texts for a sleepover but last week, I thought about throwing my phone through the window and picking him up from his friend’s at 5:00pm. These hormone surges are enough to make the sanest person feel crazy. I often wonder, does all of this once a month stuff cloud things so that I go insane or for the first time all month, am I seeing things clearly and am reacting. It’s probably a little of both.
Even being aware of it, it still surprises me mid-yell or as I am throwing a shoe in Leo’s direction. It hits me like a ton of bricks when I am confused as to why I am so mad or why I am crying at the intro to Parenthood before the episode even starts…I am a woman and this must be one of those weeks.
So Ladies, I am here to tell you, if you are crabby, moody, feel like crap and it is one of those weeks for you, I feel your pain because sometimes, it sucks to be a woman. And men, if you chose to read this, I’m here to tell you, stay away from your woman or be extra nice to her when it is one of the weeks for her because really, her behavior can’t be helped because sometimes, it sucks to be a woman.
What about you? Do you suffer from bad PMS? Are you one of the few lucky ones that escapes it? What is one thing that made you cry or made you mad that normally wouldn’t have? Please share.
I am a stay at home mom, married to my college sweetheart, Leo. We have four kids, Nico, Tommy, Isabella and Gia. We have a son, Rocco that is an angel in Heaven.
I have the same experience. I even wrote about it. (9/27/12)…. this extreme PMS was called Premenstrual dysphoric disorder by my gyno and she gave me Prozac to take for 2 weeks a month. AND its working. I’m a different person… I’m me again.
So yes, I can relate. I thought it was something I had to live with but so glad to be wrong! But lets just keep that little admission between us girls. No need in telling the husband I said so.
I promise I won’t tell.
I am so glad you found something that helps. I am on Prozac at the moment and think I am going to stop taking it. It’s not really working for me anymore. I love that you are reading and thanks so much for taking the time to comment. It means a lot that you let me know I am not alone. 
Oh, how I relate.
And my pms is only getting worse as I get older.
I swear, I only have one good week. I’m terrible the whole week before, my period now usually lasts almost a week(instead of 2-3 days) and then I feel like I need a whole week to recover.
Shell recently posted..An Unfair Wish from a Special Needs Mom (Pour Your Heart Out)
Mine is getting so much worse, too. Saying I had two good weeks was a stretch.
I am right there with you! Some months are worse than others, there are times I can barely get out of bed. SUCKS!!!
Thanks for reading and commenting! Yes…I’ve had those days, too. Totally sucks!
I cannot even tell you….Ashley and I talk about this ALL THE TIME (except we feel like we get a few good DAYS not weeks)
–Lisa
I am premenstrual….menstrual…then postmenstrual (all of these are hellish)….then….right before I get premenstrual again, I will have 3 or 4 good days. (but if a child is sick, or it’s a bad week for some other reason, even those good days might not be that good) Man!!!
I honestly do think it’s worse as I’m getting older…blech!!!!
So glad you brought this up!! Knowing you’re not alone is always comforting!!
The Dose of Reality recently posted..Halloween Is All About the Costumes
OMG, you are 100% right! When I add it up again, I get… 2 days a month when I feel great. Damn…
I don’t miss periods, I really don’t. (thank god for breastfeeding)
I didn’t miss them at all when I was pregnant and cried real, fat, ugly tears when I started getting it again.
Amen Sister! I woke up to my period this morning and the “aha!” moment of why I’ve been extra irritable the last few days (in addition to other life stress). I love your honest writing! Keep it up!
{Melinda} Oh my, just wait until your daughter is on the hormonal rollercoaster with you! It’s better now that she is a little older and hormones have evened out some, but middle school? Yeah, not pretty. Don’t know how the boys in our house survived.
Mothering From Scratch recently posted..mothering from the ER
I’m already dreading that. Her mood swings are off the charts as it is.
OH how I can relate to those awful awful times! I was lucky (if you call it that) to get rid of all my women parts a few years ago… long story- you could read it here:
http://themomcafe.com/my-sisters-story/
so I was spared this rolloercoaster ride just in time- I was already a mess with night sweats and cramps from HE– and anxiety at it’s hightest etc. SO I understand it all!!! I am on estrogen and ZOLOFT and thank GOD for both every. single. day.
Chris Carter recently posted..100 Blessings…
I’ll have to read that post. Maybe I should look into Zoloft.
Well,thankfully,I am past those days and also one of the very lucky ones that menopause has been pretty non-eventful for me. However,I have a 23 yo daughter who,when,pmsing,gets the urge to “kill someone or something as she puts it. I don’t remember ever feeling as intense about life as she does or as you describe.
Ah…lucky you! I’m jealous. Maybe if PMS is bad, I’ll be spared later.
Is it bad that I am hoping menopause gets here any day? I am so tired of it all. I remember in middle school/junior high when all of my friends were anxious to start where as I wasn’t. You know who started first of course. And don’t ever do the math to see how many days or years you have been having your period. Not something your really want to know – believe me.
No, it’s not bad or even if it was, I am right there with you. My daughter can’t wait to get hers and I am praying very hard that it does not come soon. I don’t think two of us pmsing will be good for anyone.
I hate it so much and like many others said it seems to be only getting worse. It’s been all done hill since I had my youngest! And there is always that momnet after several days of misery where I am like “aha” and realize that it’s coming.
And yeah PMSing with your tween daughter is no fun. I actually have to be the rational non-moody one. UGH!
It got sooo much worse after Gia. Maybe our bodies know we have closed up shop in that area and are rebelling against us.
I am right there with you on this one, and as I have gotten older they have become so much worse. The worst thing that Kurt can say to me during that time – “Is it that time of the month again?” I. Hate. That. And what’s even worse? “Ugh, I can’t wait for you to hit menopause. Maybe I’ll get my own place by then.”
The man is lucky he is still allowed to be near me. I’ve thrown shoes too. And a candy dish. And a picture frame. And a brush. Maybe I should stop talking?
Kimberly recently posted..Essence Of Now: Weddings and Sunshine
This made me laugh so hard because I think we might be married to the same man.