I am well aware that after you read this, you might look at me differently. You might see a 5’2 stick of dynamite that swears like a sailor or truck driver (sorry sailors and truck drivers…I didn’t start that saying). I am hoping that by coming clean, I’ll make a bigger effort to stop doing it. I’m taking the chance that you’ll still love me since the first step in getting rid of a problem is admitting it. 
I got to talking with friends this weekend about swearing in front of our kids. I grew up in a very Italian household. That means that emotions ran high and curse words were used frequently and really, held no more powerful in meaning than the next word. Well, I shouldn’t say that. It meant your mom or dad was really mad. That’s not to say that every Italian household was a swearing household. I don’t think my Grams ever swore.
I am so guilty of this. I would love to say that I’ll try to take my own advice that I give my kids when they use language that is…um…colorful. “Find a better word. You are smarter than that.” Hah! I am pretty smart and yet…I get mad or frustrated and out it comes. I got to thinking what things cause these emotionally charged words to fly out of my mouth:
1. “I forgot to do my treatment/I don’t want to do my treatment.”
2.” I forgot I have homework or a test.”
3. “I needed this washed. Can you do it really fast?”
4. “I left my backpack at so and so’s house.”
5. Anything I have to say 10 or more times before it gets done.
6. “I decided to stay for the next two games.” (Leo)
7. “I left my homework at school.”
8. Having to go back and forth from the kids’ rooms to whatever I am doing to wake them up 12 times. Get up, already!
9. “I have poker this week.” (Le0)
10. Aggravating the girls until they make a sound that only dogs can hear.
11. The answer no unless it is “Were you involved in any of that trouble?”.
12. Asking for money right after ignoring me when I say to clean something.
13. Hen pecking me when they want something after I already said no.
14. Not answering cell phones or texts.
15. Texting things or posting things on Facebook that I don’t like.
16. “Can I have a sleepover?/ Can I sleep over at so and so’s house.”
I should stop here. I just realized that an awful lot makes me curse. I was a teacher in my former life and kids did all kinds of things that aggravated me and I managed to never curse so why can’t I here? Well for one, they would press the buttons but not continuously press them. Over…and over…and over again. I even had one student ask me every single day from the time I told my class I was pregnant until I left for my maternity leave, “Did you have your baby yet?” Even then, I would sweetly say, “No, not yet.”
I need to practice saying, “Shoot”, “Darn” or my dad’s favorite, “Jiminy Crickets.” (Every kid coached by my dad heard that at some point.) As far as swearing in front of the kids, I am not proud of it but like with a lot of other things, “Do as I say and not as I do.” Just like being able to watch a rated R movie or driving a car, there are some things that adults can do that kids cannot. My kids learn that the minute they can pronounce the word, “Damn.”
Raising kids causes frustration and anger. If any parent tells you they are happy and content all the time, they are lying. Sometimes, one of my kids does something so stupid that I am literally in shock. Sometimes the safest release is letting out the word, “Shit!”
I’m 100% guilty of it but I am also 100% working on it.
What about you? Can you give me a run for my money in the swearing department or am I alone in this?
I am a stay at home mom, married to my college sweetheart, Leo. We have four kids, Nico, Tommy, Isabella and Gia. We have a son, Rocco that is an angel in Heaven.
Oh, man…I am HORRIBLE ABOUT THIS. I really am. It’s like my secret shame. (but a secret no more, I guess!)
It actually helps me to know that a mom I really respect is in the same boat.
I need to work on this. I really do. I will! –Lisa
Just know that I love you even more because you have admitted that we share this secret shame.
{Kathy} I gave up cussing for Lent one year. Can I just tell you it was VERY hard.? I do try. Honest. But somehow when I am angry, it just flies out. There I feel much better.
Mothering From Scratch recently posted..MOMtor monday: growing a love of reading through picturewalking
I love this comment so much. I have given this up every single year and have never been able to stick to it. It helps knowing I am not the only one.
My boys have been going on and on and on about things arguing a lot lately. Therefore, I have used God Dammit a lot lately. And then they remind me not to take the Lord’s name in vain and I feel incredibly guilty. My soccer coach, who was my best friend’s mom and had a temper would always say, “Gee Zips.” Maybe you could try that.
P.S. I still like you.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..It’s Not Enough, SeaWorld
“Gee Zips” has me cracking up. Somehow it doesn’t have the same release that “Oh, shit!” has.
My not-quite-3 year old says shit in the right context. Enough said.
Alison recently posted..Be Kind
Gia is following right in my footsteps. Lots of proud mommy moments over here (where is the sarcasm smiley face?).
“you are not alone, i am here with you” name that tune.
Ha! Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone.” This made me laugh out loud. Glad I am not alone!
And now I have this song stuck in my head.
Girl, I could make a sailor blush. I’m that bad.
Also? My 2 and 3 year olds curse in the correct context. Oops.
Kimberly recently posted..Her Wrath
So does Gia! I knew I liked you from the get go.
I am totally not judging you! My mouth isn’t that appropriate either. I hear ya on being able to keep it together at school, but just letting it all fly at school. I’ve come to the conclusion that part of why I loose the filter at home is because I keep it bottled up all day long and I simply can’t contain myself anymore once I get home. I mean, seriously, I repeat myself 9,842 times a day at school. I think it’s pretty understandable that my patience has been worn pretty thin by the time I get home for the evening.
If it makes you feel any better my 7 year old called his 2 year old daycare teacher (when he was 2) a dumb ass once. It was under his breath, but still used correctly. I have no idea where he got that one from . . .
The dumb ass comment made me laugh. I think I’d be so much worse if I was still teaching, if that is even possible.
HELL yes I am guilty!!! And my kids FREAK when a bad word comes out of my mouth. I tell them they are NEVER allowed to swear… until they are in their 40′s and have kids that drive them absolutely INSANE!
(Actually, most of my swearing is in the car at really really bad drivers…)
Chris Carter recently posted..Extraordinary Mom…
I tell my kids the same thing. I really didn’t swear that much until I had kids or did I and I don’t remember. I’m pretty sure swearing in the car happened before, during and will after kids.
How often do I swore in front of my kids ? Let me count the ways… From lack of sleep, stress at work, parenting demands, the list does not seem to stop. And since I do not want my kids thinking that cursing is like music to their ears, I decided to be more creative. I used jargons. I remove the ill fated word, replace it, create a tongue twister out of it, and that made them laugh. In fact , that made all of us laugh.
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Now I am curious…you have to send me one of your jargons. I need a laugh.