Dear Person that thought it was funny to tease Nico because I bought a mug with his picture on it,
First of all, I get tired of buying pictures that end up in a drawer somewhere so this year, I thought I’d do something different. I love a good cup of tea or hot chocolate (or hot chocolate with a little Bailey’s in it) so the mug seemed like a great idea. I know it wasn’t your intent to embarrass him. It was all in good fun, just fun-loving ribbing. Well, it’s fine and he got over it but I want to explain something to you.
It’s not your fault that you don’t get it. We made the decision to keep it from you what a special kid Nico is. The mug doesn’t just represent an overzealous mom of a freshman football player which is how you portrayed it. It represents so much more. It is a symbol of a kid that battles something so much bigger than he is or that you are. It’s a symbol of a kid that has never let up on his dreams even though his body sometimes is screaming at him to. It is a symbol of a life lived despite obstacles that reduce him (and me) to tears. It is a milestone and an odd beaten.
You probably don’t know how hard he is working outside of practice to fight the effects of what he battles. Gaining weight is one of the harder things to accomplish when you battle CF and Nico is committed to doing it. It’s not your fault that you don’t know his rigorous schedule of waking up early, doing treatments, going to school, going to practice, coming home and eating, doing homework, lifting weights, eating again, doing treatments and going to bed. It’s ours. Did we make the right choice? Nico begged us not to say anything. He was afraid that he’d be judged by it before he could prove himself. He’s a normal teenager that wants to be like everyone else. Do you know how many kids battle what he does at his high school? None. He’s the only one. Imagine what that feels like to a 14-year-old.
Nico was throwing/holding a football before he could walk. He was 2 when he did his first Little Sportsters class. He was 3 when we found out he had CF. Thoughts of him ever playing football fell by the wayside and were replaced with would he live a normal life? He never thought otherwise. Of course he’d play. And play he has done. That mug…it’s a testament to his never giving up. To not letting CF win.
I love that he teaches me every single day what it means to love something enough to fight for it. To battle through the cards life has dealt you. To have something that you could easily lean on to make life easier but choosing instead to overcome it and NOT let it win. NOT let it define you. This mug that was the subject of a joke…this mug is a symbol of someone amazing. So go ahead and make jokes and tease. Say what you will but I love my mug because to me, it’s not just a mug.
Sincerely,
Nico’s overzealous because he’s going to beat the odds mom
Thanks, Shell for giving me the space to pour my heart out:
I am a stay at home mom, married to my college sweetheart, Leo. We have four kids, Nico, Tommy, Isabella and Gia. We have a son, Rocco that is an angel in Heaven.
What he’s accomplishing is so amazing, and you have every right to be proud. Playing high school football is HARD, and living with CF is VERY HARD. For your son to be doing both, and not to want any special treatment from his coaches and teammates – well, all I can say in congratulations on raising a fantastic son who obviously CAN beat all the odds
Thanks so much! It means a lot that you read and commented. It amazes me how adamant he is about not using it as an excuse. It’s what makes me most proud.
this is a great post! I love the mug and all it stands for!
Andrea recently posted..Getting Rid of the Pee Smell from Leather Shoes
Thanks so much! With a title like that for a post, I can’t wait to visit your blog.
What a beautiful, honest post. I wish the person who teased could read it. I bet he would think twice the next time he wanted to make a little joke about anyone. I think the fact that you so openly share this experience without exposing your child is really helpful. I have no doubt that anyone reading with any struggle of any kind appreciates it. Keep up the great work my friend!
thedoseofreality recently posted..For the Love Of God…Use the Backdoor
Thanks so much! You know how much I appreciate your encouragement.
Just because Nico doesn’t want me to say anything to the person doesn’t mean it needs to go unsaid. Thank God for blogs, right? It’s not the person’s fault even though much of my anger was directed at them at first. In the end, it is CF that I’m mad at.
Nothing like tears in the morning! This was just beautiful. Your son and his accomplishments are amazing. I love your ‘more than just a mug’ mug. _Lisa
Awww…thanks. It always makes me feel good to know I touched someone. As I type this, I am enjoying a nice cup of tea out of my “not just a mug” mug.
This is so right on! Some people are quick to tease or judge (my sister-in-law is one – I’ve come to dread seeing her at times), but they just really don’t get it. If they don’t have a child who struggles with something or who is unique, they don’t understand what his parents go through, too. We go through it with them every step of the way. I wish you would have ordered an extra mug so you could shove it . . .well, you know what I’m thinking.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..Your Gluten Free Family
This made me laugh! The last part about shoving it… You are right, though…we do go through it all with them. Thanks for the sweet words.
He’s amazing, and so are you.
Thanks, Alison!
I’ve read several posts lately that were about hurt feelings due to insensitive comments. I think of myself as pretty tactful but I’m sitting here reminding myself to be more careful. Words hurt. Thoughtless comments stay with us for a long time. And I kind of want to kick the person who made Nico feel bad in the shin. Or in the head.
I hope he has a great season and continues beating the odds!
I have to remind myself of the opposite. That people don’t always mean to be hurtful. They don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. It’s a good lesson both ways. If people gave a little more thought to what they say, there would be a lot less hurt feelings. I kinda want you to kick the person in the shin, too.
Thanks for the well wishes and reading and commenting. It means a lot.
I know that this is about a person who was being a serious butt, but what I heard was the voice of a parent who reminds me of one of my dearest friends from high school. My friend Kristen also had CF and her parents taught her to face the world without fear and to not let CF keep her from achieving her dreams. She was a dancer from the time she was little… and was on our high school dance team. She was elected class President our senior year and got a scholarship to a college in Pennsylvania. We grew up in California but, her parent still let her go… and she thrived there! She went on to get her Masters and was working on her doctorate and engaged before she passed away. She lived every moment to the fullest… never took anything for granted… and her life was full and beautiful and full of people who loved her.
The sound of her parents is what I hear in your post. The voice of someone who loves SO MUCH and is teaching the lessons that are REALLY important… the ones that mean the MOST. Kudos to you Mom! You are a stellar parent and it’s totally obvious.
And the jerk… well, one day the jerk will learn compassion. One day he’ll have something that he needs compassion over and he’ll get it. I think that, given time, most of us finally understand.
Play on Nico!!!!
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Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot. I can only hope that the big lessons are learned. Your friend sounds like an amazing woman.
Im so glad you blogged about this!!! And grateful you linked up with PYHO to share it with so many others. I’m sorry someone was a jerk and made fun about the mug.
Frelle recently posted..Too Honest
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment and thank your for the kind words. I know I tend to be over-sensitive about this stuff but I don’t think I’m off base here.
Beautiful post AnnMarie! I’m sure the kid had no idea what he was doing, I give him serious grace in this matter. It was however, a lovely platform for you to really share the depths of your journey with Nico and all the victories your son has tackled (pun INTENDED!! LOL) in his life. What a tribute to HIM and YOU in this battle against odds!! It’s amazing how strong and resiliant our children can be…
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So true. My kids teach me every day what it means to be strong and resiliant. It happened two weeks ago and Nico is over it and yet it still bugs me. I could learn a lesson or two about letting stuff go from him.
You and Nico are both an inspiration. Words hurt, and I have to remind myself that we never know anyone’s full story. I love your mug and all it stands for!
Kimberly recently posted..The Monster Within
You are so sweet. Thanks. I wish you lived closer so we could share a cup of whatever and you could see the mug in person.
You have every right to be so proud of him and if you want to show your pride with a mug, no punk should turn that into a joke. xo
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Seeing a Difference
Totally agree…I think that’s what made me so angry.
What a handsome guy! I don’t know who poked fun, but man oh man, they better watch out!!
This was beautiful and your heart and passion for Nico shines through in every word.
adrienne recently posted..I remember.
Aw…thanks, Adrienne. That was my intent so I’m glad you could see it.
Great post….thanks for sharing!
Thanks!
{Melinda} AnnMarie, I could absolutely sob. You know how close this is to my heart. My little CF hero has been chasing his dream of baseball for years. He is always the smallest on the team, always has to work extra hard to prove himself, but he never gives up.
I am so sorry someone said something to hurt your boy — even unintentionally. You are so right — no one really sees all our boys go through everyday. But we do. And, most importantly, God does. I pray for Him to protect my boy and strengthen his lungs everyday. Now I’m praying that for your boys, too. Hugs, AnnMarie. You’re a great momma.
Mothering From Scratch recently posted..being fearless to build community
I know you are one of the only people that know exactly how I feel and I love that you are reading it. Kindred spirits, I guess. Members of a club that we don’t want to be. I keep your baseball player in my prayers as well and I appreciate so much that my boys are in yours. Thanks for your kind words and right back at ya being a great momma.
I love the mother’s love all over this post. I know kids tease to direct the pressure away from themselves often, and don’t think about the spotlight being on someone else because of it.
If anything, this can also serve as a reminder to us that what we see isn’t the entire story. We see a mom with a smiling boy in a football uniform on a mug, but there’s a bigger story there underneath it.
There usually is.
Are we open enough to want to know what the story is behind others, or at least be respectful of it?
Here’s hoping that we are.
Eli@coachdaddy recently posted..What a chore: My kids have it easy, compared to back in the day. Right?
I love this comment! I love that you can see the love in it and not just the anger that I felt at the random comment and yes, it is a good reminder that there is always a story and I know I am one that always wants to know it.