I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately (it’s become a new favorite way to spend my free time…yes, even I laughed at the words “free time”) about living in the moment and enjoying our kids. They are so inspirational that I leave them thinking, “Yes, I am going to do that!” They post beautiful pictures of their kids playing or enjoying summer and I think, “That is easy enough. I am going to do that!” Bloggers everywhere are stepping away from their computers and living life to its fullest. I’m still trying to find my footing on this new site and was getting frustrated so thought stepping away was a good idea.
It always sounds good in my head. These big ideas always sound good but then…
I decided to jump back in (really almost literally) the quest to get fit and be healthy by doing Zumba. I woke up at 7:00am yesterday and got dressed in my exercise clothes so that I’d be all ready to go when a half hour opened up. The kids are home so I figured they’d watch Gia while I got it done. After many socially awkward moments, threats of being grounded, discussions that it is rough all over and figuring out I really am computer illiterate, it was 5:30 by the time I actually was able to exercise but I did it so it was one thing checked off “the things I want to get done this summer” list.
I tried feeding Gia thinking that Leo was bringing food home for the rest of the family but time got away, I never called him and when he walked through the door at 6:30, he had no food. It took us 20 minutes to decide what we were doing. I wanted him to go pick up food. He wanted to take the kids for a walk while I showered and then walk to get something to eat. He won. I don’t know how his walk was but our walk was not the walk I had envisioned.
Gia wouldn’t sit in the stroller. Walking in the subdivision was fine but to get to the restaurants, we had to walk along one of the busiest roads so I had to carry her. Not fun. Leo pushed the stroller. Belle danced the entire walk there and was singing like there was no tomorrow. I won’t say this to her but I’ll say it here: she is not from a musically inclined family. This family of chaos cannot carry a tune…I think we might all be tone-deaf as well. I tried, really I tried to see the joy in her dancing and singing down County Farm Road but walking that close to fast-moving cars puts me on edge. Then there was Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. He’s quirky. He’s funny. Walking to Subway, I wanted to wring his little neck. He kept running ahead (like a 2-year-old would do) and thought it was hilarious to pretend like he couldn’t hear us. He kept running up and down the hill on the one side and then felt it necessary to spin his way across County Farm and Geneva Road, not paying attention to cars turning right. I bet you can guess what I wanted to yell besides, “TOMMY! WATCH WHAT YOU ARE DOING!”
We all made it across alive, mind you I am still holding Gia and who do we run into in the parking lot of Subway but Nico and all of his friends. Even the nicest group of teenage boys look menacing to the outside eye. We talked to them for a little bit with a few, “Don’t go in people’s yards and don’t pool hop” suggestions peppered in.
It was about 8:00 when we finally had dinner. I’m pretty sure the guy at Subway hates us.
We thought that eating dinner together might be a time to talk to the twins about their behavior when they have friends over. I never thought I’d have to say, “When your sister has a friend or friends over, you have to be dressed. You go to school with those girls and it’s weird to see Tommy G in his underwear.” I explained that they are too old for me to be involved in their playdates. I loathe the question, “What should we do?” Even more, “There is nothing to do here.” Leo explained that when they act like little aliens, it makes us not want to have playdates at our house. It also makes me wonder how they act when they are at their friends’ houses. Nothing is funnier and more unnerving than watching your 10 year old flirt. If Tommy has a friend over, Belle bats her eyes and flips her hair like Marcia Brady did with Doug Simpson (I dated myself there, didn’t I?). Tommy is the “self-proclaimed” ladies man and if flirting is “acting big” then he has made it an art form. Boy/girl twins…it’s a trip.
The conversation ended up with us not sure if Tommy heard a word we said and Belle in tears and defensive.
When we got home, the sea of boys made their way over to my house and were shooting hoops. While playing, the ball hit the hoop and flew into the street at the same time a car was passing my house. The car stopped, the women said, “OMG!” The guy who was in his upper teens, lower 20′s got out of the car and yelled at the boys, “Are you f****** retarded?” The boys said it wasn’t on purpose, the guy said nothing and got in the car and they drove away. It really freaked the boys out.
I’m trying…really I am…but it’s going to be a long summer.
Tomorrow we tackle Great America. I’m sure there will be loads to blog about after.
So am I alone or do others have a hard time during “quality family time”?
I am a stay at home mom, married to my college sweetheart, Leo. We have four kids, Nico, Tommy, Isabella and Gia. We have a son, Rocco that is an angel in Heaven.
I am sure it will come as no surprise to you that I loathe family time. Yep, I said it folks. Right out here in the interwebs for all the world to see. Like you, I always have the idea in my head of what it should be or what it could be…and it is never that. This week begins my plan for summer not to suck the life out of me, where I take the children on a different adventure (somewhere local, obviously) each week. I am already setting my expectations low. If no one cries (myself included) or yells (myself not included, as I definitely will mostly likely at some point) I will consider it a win!
Great post, by the way, because yeah, ummm, so this in every single way.
And this is why I love you so much! The yelling, my God, the yelling and the whole reason why I hate doing that walk to Subway is that everyone in my freaking town drives on that busy road so the whole town can see me yelling at my kids.
OMG, yes! It seems like every time I make an attempt at this, it’s never quite what I had envisioned in my mind. My little guy is still a baby, so when we attempt to have some sort of family time, especially if we go out to eat, the entire time is spent picking his toys up off the floor and my husband and I don’t even really talk to each other. Then by the time the baby is in bed, the hubs goes downstairs to do his thing and I go do mine, because we’re both just exhausted. I figure at least you tried though! That is great!
Glad I am not alone! That is EXACTLY what it is like when we go out to eat. I am usually chasing Gia or trying to keep her occupied. I end up sweating the whole time and wondering why I am not 90lbs. since it seems I never get to eat!
As hard as it may seem to believe for many of us dysfunctional is functional. Life can be crazy busy and even if the moments we plan to spend time together do not turn out as planned remember “you did spend time together” children are unpredictable. Hoping you have a great summer!
That’s true! I’m going to remember that today when we go to a crowded theme park. Even if it is horrible, it will someday be a funny memory or at the very least, material for my blog.
Hope you have a great summer, too!
If I heard that jerk say that to my son, he would be the proud owner of a Old Navy flip flop lodged in his b-hole.
Family time is hard. We also try to use dinner time as a way to connect however when you have a 3 year old who accuses us of poisioning his food and rebels against it…well…dinner time is more of a battle of wills.
But we try after supper.
Key word: Try
Totally made me laugh with the flip flop! If I had been there, I would have yelled right back. Gia is awful about eating, too. She’s my only one and I was completely blindsided by having a kid that hates to eat so like you, restaurants are not fun either. You’re right, the key word is “try”.
it is the setting aside as a must that makes it the hardest. We are now vested in it being quality time and then expect it to work out … we set ourselves up for a fall right from the get go
Little moments, take the little moments, add them together, and then hope they get bigger and bigger as you have less of an expectation … does that make sense?
It makes complete sense and so funny because I did a whole post on expectation and how it doesn’t work. The less the expectation, the happier you are with the outcome.