As parents we always wait for the “firsts”. The first tooth, the first word, the first steps…Those moments are to be celebrated and I do…loudly and usually via text to whomever I think would like to share in it with me. Along with the firsts, though, comes lasts. The first tooth marks the last of the “gummy smile”. The first word marks the last time there will be silence (only bad when you realize they can say, “I don’t like you!). The first steps mark the last of knowing where your kid is at all times. None of these are bad. I love that Gia can talk now. I remember when she was still taking a bottle after she turned 2 and everyone said, “It’s fine.” I worried about the bad habits she was going to form stemming from her mother not being strong enough to help her get rid of the bottle. She doesn’t take the bottle anymore and I was sad to think about the last time I gave it to her. How she cuddled with me and looked up at me and the worry of how much milk she had that day was gone because I knew.
I know from having the older three how many lasts there are and how I was too busy to pay attention until one day, I woke up and realized, “I’ll never do that again.” I have the wisdom to know with Gia and I don’t want to miss any of them. She had another last, two nights ago. She slept in the crib for the last time (I think). When I went to check on her, she was scrunched up so that her legs were sticking out the bars. She’s a peanut but she was too big for her crib. She was also thrashing at nap time and bruising her arms in the midst of her fit over not wanting to be in bed. She wasn’t overly excited about her new bed. She loved the princess blanket and her own “pico” (pillow) and went to bed easily and slept through the night. She woke up at 7:30 sitting on her bed crying for me. I’m a little bit dreading nap time today because I think she’s going to keep getting up but I am ready. I knew it was eventually going to come. I just hope that two days ago wasn’t her last nap.
She can’t stay a baby forever as much as I would like to slow the whole growing up process down and it was time. The next step is the potty that she keeps asking about. I wonder if I’ll be sad when I change my last diaper. Knowing me, I will be but I will jump for joy at not having to buy them anymore (a whole $20 to spend on something else!) and stand there cheering that she has conquered another milestone. She will definitely grow up but she’ll always be my baby. Besides…there is always the binky and the blankie that I am sure she will be going to Kindergarten with.
So what about you? What was the last you most miss? Which last are you dreading?