As parents we always wait for the “firsts”. The first tooth, the first word, the first steps…Those moments are to be celebrated and I do…loudly and usually via text to whomever I think would like to share in it with me. Along with the firsts, though, comes lasts. The first tooth marks the last of the “gummy smile”. The first word marks the last time there will be silence (only bad when you realize they can say, “I don’t like you!). The first steps mark the last of knowing where your kid is at all times. None of these are bad. I love that Gia can talk now. I remember when she was still taking a bottle after she turned 2 and everyone said, “It’s fine.” I worried about the bad habits she was going to form stemming from her mother not being strong enough to help her get rid of the bottle. She doesn’t take the bottle anymore and I was sad to think about the last time I gave it to her. How she cuddled with me and looked up at me and the worry of how much milk she had that day was gone because I knew.

I know from having the older three how many lasts there are and how I was too busy to pay attention until one day, I woke up and realized, “I’ll never do that again.” I have the wisdom to know with Gia and I don’t want to miss any of them. She had another last, two nights ago. She slept in the crib for the last time (I think). When I went to check on her, she was scrunched up so that her legs were sticking out the bars. She’s a peanut but she was too big for her crib. She was also thrashing at nap time and bruising her arms in the midst of her fit over not wanting to be in bed. She wasn’t overly excited about her new bed. She loved the princess blanket and her own “pico” (pillow) and went to bed easily and slept through the night. She woke up at 7:30 sitting on her bed crying for me. I’m a little bit dreading nap time today because I think she’s going to keep getting up but I am ready. I knew it was eventually going to come. I just hope that two days ago wasn’t her last nap.

She can’t stay a baby forever as much as I would like to slow the whole growing up process down and it was time. The next step is the potty that she keeps asking about. I wonder if I’ll be sad when I change my last diaper. Knowing me, I will be but I will jump for joy at not having to buy them anymore (a whole $20 to spend on something else!) and stand there cheering that she has conquered another milestone. She will definitely grow up but she’ll always be my baby. Besides…there is always the binky and the blankie that I am sure she will be going to Kindergarten with.

So what about you? What was the last you most miss? Which last are you dreading?

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The email that has the ability to send an overwhelmed mom of four into a fit of happy tears and cause an outburst of a very “Elaine from Seinfeld” type of dance: Fields too wet to play. All games canceled.

I received two of those yesterday and didn’t really cry but I did do the Elaine dance. A whole Saturday with no activities?! I can’t remember when that happened last. I mean, we have had them but usually if the boys don’t have anything it’s because there is a coaches’ meeting so Leo is gone. Not yesterday. He was home and guess what he did? He took all the kids out to breakfast so I could have an hour or so of peace. All of the kids! All sorts of ideas of how I wanted to spend the time came to mind. I wanted to shower (in peace). I wanted to do Zumba (and not worry about waking up Gia). I wanted to catch up on reading and commenting on the blogs I follow (I have to find a better way to manage this), I wanted to work on a post I am writing for another blog, I wanted to write a post for my blog, I wanted to catch up on American Idol, The Voice, Dance Moms Miami or Law and Order SVU and I wanted to catch up on some sleep. I know what you are thinking…I needed a lot more than an hour and a half to do all of that. Since I have been up late every night but one in the last week, I chose sleep (while watching Dance Moms). Of course, it went fast and when they got back, they felt the need to wake me up to tell me that Gia was an absolute angel (of course she was).

The rest of the day passed quietly (I did get a shower in) with the exception of a few fights I had to break up. Leo and I took advantage of Nico having to be home and went to Best Buy, Olive Garden and Barnes and Noble. An almost perfect night. I know as an Italian woman, I am not supposed to like Olive Garden as much as I do but with the closing of Ruby Tuesday’s, it’s becoming a fast favorite. They have a drink called the Venetian Sunset and an entree, Parmesan Crusted Tilapia that are so delicious that I practically chugged the drink and licked my plate clean. When we go out alone like that, I am reminded how much we need to do that every once in awhile to reconnect. I feel very blessed that we still enjoy each other’s company. I said “almost perfect” because I really, really wanted to walk out of Best Buy with a new computer. I was close. At least I was able to convey to Leo the importance of me getting a new one. That counts for something (hopefully, it means I’ll get the one I want).

Leo, if you are reading, thank you for listening (I guess you had no choice since I was yelling) and for giving me a little break.

So I am wondering, if you had an extra hour and a half of uninterrupted time, how would you have spent it?

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I know that Facebook has been around for awhile now so this topic has probably already been discussed but I would love to hear your opinions.

When I first joined, I had a rule that I wouldn’t be friends on Facebook with anyone I wouldn’t want to be friends with in real life. It seemed like a simple rule but it’s not really that easy. Take for example people that I was friendly with in high school but not really friends with. I didn’t think twice about those requests at first but when I really thought about it, the only thing some of those people and I have in common is that we went to the same high school. On the other hand, some really good grown up friendships have formed that make me wish we were better friends in high school (D.W. and J.B.). Then there are the people that I have been friends with for years that I have never met in “real life” but I hold dear to my heart. They have helped me through some of the worst times in my life through online support groups. I am thankful to Facebook that we can easily keep in touch with each other. There are friends and neighbors that I am friends with on there and again, those were easy to accept. Sometimes it is the only way I get to actually talk to them with everyone being so busy these days. My favorite friend requests come with a message saying, “I love your blog and am having a hard time following it on your site so would you mind if I friended you?” That was before I had a Facebook page for the blog but I still appreciated those so much and always accepted. I drew the line with being friends with Nico or any of his friends because I didn’t want them to have access to my blog (Nico’s friends, really) and if I ever wanted to post anything like “These kids are driving me freaking crazy,” I didn’t want it to show up on Nico’s wall.

Then there are other situations: ex-boyfriends, guys/girls you once dated, friends you had a falling out with, people that you were never friends with to begin with or relatives you don’t get along with. Those are some sticky situations. For the first three, if you don’t friend them, it looks like you are still hanging onto old feelings but if you do friend them, they have access to your life right now and maybe the past should stay in the past. Or…is it stranger not to accept? I wonder why some people (the ones I wasn’t ever friends with) friend me to begin with. Some I knew who they were but didn’t think they had any idea who I was. If I don’t accept, I look like a jerk but what reason other than to bulk up their friend list would they have to want to be friends with me? As far as relatives go, thank God I don’t have this issue because I genuinely like all of my relatives that are on Facebook but what if the ones I don’t really like were on there and friended me? I can think of one very specific person that I would have a hard time giving access to my Facebook but how do you not accept? It’s like inviting drama into what you would like to be a drama-free life.

Don’t even get me started on kids and Facebook where the object is to have as many friends as possible. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked Nico who someone was that he was friends with and he said, “I’m not sure. I think she’s a friend of so and so.” The worst example of people trying to friend me was when Leo’s high school reunion was happening. I had about 25 requests from people that were trying to locate him. At the time my profile picture was of the two of us but was private. Friends of both of ours (after 23 years there are many of those), I accepted but if I didn’t know them, I didn’t. The one that I still can’t believe was from a girl that he was friends with in high school. She sent a message that she missed seeing his face the last 20 years and please tell him she looked forward to seeing him at the reunion. I mean that is ballsy (I don’t know if that is a real word). Looking up a guy through his wife. Perhaps a more even-tempered, less jealous wife would have friended her but I did not (admittedly, the double standard lives and breathes over here).

How do you decide who to friend? How do you decide who to accept friend requests from? Do you do the friending or do you wait to until someone friends you (I tend to do the waiting but not always)? I think it should be a rule that when you friend someone, you should have to send a message along with it like, “Hi, wish we knew each other better in high school or we used to talk on the support board.” (I would for sure would accept those). It would be nice instead of getting a friend request, accepting and then never hearing from that person again other than seeing their statuses.

Edited to add: I should have let you all know: If I am friends with you on FB now, it is because I wanted to keep in touch with you. This post was prompted by requests I have gotten in the last month. I did a clean-up at the beginning of the year.

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I have thick hair. Really thick hair. When I was younger, I had the dreaded bowl haircut. I had a perm (didn’t know I had naturally curly hair until I was older) and I had the Kristy McNichol mullet. In high school, I had the “body wave” and wore it long and feathered. By senior year, I started wearing it curly (figured out I had natural curl). Freshman year of college, I had an unfortunate habit of wearing a white bow in a ponytail on top of my head. Even as I write that, I am embarrassed. At what point did I look in the mirror and think that was a good look? Maybe my boyfriend at the time wanted to make sure no guy ever looked at me while I was away at college so he told me it was cute. I don’t know but I’ve seen pictures and it was not a good look. Funny enough, that was when I met Leo…during the bow stage…and he has stuck around now for 23 years so maybe it was cuter than I remember. My college hair could put Snooki to shame with the height I had going. I have had perms since then to boost my sad sack of curls (one salon had to dust off their perm stuff in the year 2000), I have had shags and layers galore. I have had short hair (twice since the bowl haircut), medium hair and long hair (mostly this). I have had bangs (my forehead is about an inch wide so though I want bangs, I can’t wear them) and hair that was all one length (and heavier than Hell). One thing is for sure…I am very indecisive with what I want to do with my hair and can never pull the trigger even when I settle on it. Evangeline Lily in Lost and Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City hair continues to escape me.

As I have gotten older and after I had Gia, my hair has completely changed. It will no longer do what it has done for the last five years. It is unruly. It is frizzy. It won’t curl but it’s not straight. Every morning I wake up and I swear it laughs at me. It says, “Ha! What do you think you are going to do with me today? You think that even with the 50 hair products you have to try and tame me, I’ll behave? Think again. A ponytail? Ha! Nope! You can try but I guarantee that it will look like a nuclear mushroom cloud on top of your head.” I start my day crabby because my hair mocks me. I know that when I got my hair cut the last time, my hair stylist did not give me this style but after a month, I now have a shag-mullet thing growing on my head and it is NOT a good look. And have I called my friend to get a haircut? No, I have not. Why? Because, no surprise, I don’t know what I want to do with it. A part of me is curious to see what it will do if I just keep growing it out. After all, I didn’t think a shag-mullet was possible and yet, here I am.

If I had a working scanner, I would give you the luxury of seeing me at every stage of these hairstyles (and what a laugh you would have) but like the curly hair that escapes me, so does working technology.

So maybe you can help, who has cute hair right now? Or share some of your bad hairstyles so I don’t feel so challenged.

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This might be a scattered post since I have kids hanging from each arm. If you live in this house, chances are you have something going on with you. Either you are sick, injured or have some ailment that needs to be surgically fixed.

This weekend at a baseball tournament, Nico strained his Achilles tendons in both of his ankles to the point where he couldn’t walk. It’s heart-wrenching to see your child have to crawl to the bathroom. He was also sick with a fever and headache.

Gia, my little monster, remember…was getting worse and had stopped eating. I took them both to the doctor and sure enough, they both have sinus infections and both were put on antibiotics. Nico has to be on Advil or another anti-inflammatory (can’t be on a steroid because of CF, another reason to hate CF because he’d get instant relief if he could take one), I had to buy special inserts for his shoes and he was ordered to stay off of it because if he puts enough strain on them, they could tear and he’ll need surgery. He was home from school for two days and the work he is going to have to do is a lot. I swear the only thing more stubborn than a two year old is an athletic 14 year old that wants to run in his track meet and play in his baseball games.

Isabella has to have her tonsils and adenoids out but that isn’t until July. I scheduled that today. She is thrilled as you can imagine. How sad that there is only one week in the next three months where we could get it done. Not so much because of the doctor’s schedule but because of ours!

Tommy’s allergies are making him miserable.

I woke up with a sinus headache but keep repeating, “I will not get sick…I will not get sick…” How many of you want to bet that the minute I tell Leo that I have a headache, he’ll start holding his throat or head saying, “Yeah, I don’t feel good either. I think I might be getting sick”?

On a separate note, how do you like the new look? In the effort to really put myself out there, I wanted to not have our picture be so out there. I worked with a fabulous designer (Kimberly Muro Designs) so if you are thinking of giving your blog a new look, let me know and I’ll give you her information. I can’t stress enough how wonderful she is to work with. I had a million questions and she answered them all while being patient and sweet. I had a muddled vision in my head of what I wanted and she made it all come together in a way that I just love. Thanks so much, Kimberly!

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After thinking more about why I feel the way I do about the book 50 Shades of Grey, I kept asking myself: Why does everyone else love it so much? What am I missing? Then it hit me. It depresses me. I used the present tense because I am still bummed by it. I write romance novels. I want to publish the ones I have already written and can’t seem to stop adding to or editing them and the ones I am writing for the first time. This book is flying off the shelves and there is no way in Hell, I could have ever known or written about the subject matter that is in this book. I felt a little defeated after I read it that this is what women are looking for. I know there is a huge market for erotic books and that it doesn’t mean that no other books are going to sell but I kept imagining publishers getting my books and saying, “That’s it?” Let’s just say for those of you that have read the Grey books, mine are very “vanilla” in comparison. I just have to hope that I have the nerve to actually send them out and that there is still a market for “vanilla.”

A friend of mine just called and told me that I am going to love this book because they are considering Taylor Kitsch for the role of Christian Grey. While I agree, he fits the gorgeous part…aw…man! I’ll never be able to look at him the same. I think at this point it is just fans voicing who they want to see play him. I saw one website say Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart should play them but aren’t and I say, “Yes! Go that route.” It said somewhere that the author was inspired by Twilight (by the way, I had no idea she said that until I went looking for a website saying Taylor Kitsch might play Christian). I know I said I would see anything TK was in but I’d draw the line here. Then she said Chris Hemsworth was the other person being considered for it. Great…just great…I guess Channing Tatum will move up to number one and there is always Matt Dillon.

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***This is not a book review. I don’t go into many specifics or details. Just a few thoughts but if you are going to read it and are afraid I might say something to ruin it for you, you might want to skip this post.***

Have you ever been invited to a party that you had heard was going to be a blast? Everyone said it was the party to be at and then when you got there, after about an hour, you thought to yourself, I don’t get it. Why does everyone want to be here? Maybe it is just me. That’s how I feel about the book Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James and obviously it is just me because it is all friends, neighbors, talk shows and message boards are talking about. Maybe it is a case of the actual book (for me) not living up to all the talk. Maybe I haven’t read a series of books that consumed all of my time since Twilight and got my hopes up high that this was the one and it fell short of what I wanted.

I enjoy a good romance novel and even on occasion a good smut book. This book hooked me from the beginning. I love a good love story, especially one where the woman is beautiful but doesn’t know it and the guy is gorgeous and he is completely captivated by the woman. Christian Grey is gorgeous, rich and mysterious. Anastasia Steele is unsure, bumbling and he finds her beautiful. Their sexual chemistry is off the charts (it reminded me a little of Twilight). I was hooked and then…the book went into a direction that made me not like Christian very much and made me sad for Ana that she had to work so hard against who she was to make the relationship work (and in the complete opposite direction of Twilight). Don’t misunderstand, she was enjoying the ride most of the time and a friend of mine said, “Read it with an open mind” and she was right. The problem was that I would forget that when I sat down to read it and found myself saying, “Okay, ew…not sure if I can handle that right now” and then I put it down. Maybe it is just that I don’t have a submissive bone in my body so I don’t get it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a little jealous of all the women that have been able to lose themselves in these books. If you can get past the “fifty shades of messed up”, it is a thrilling love story. I just couldn’t get past it.

Many people have said the second and third books are less intense and are an easier read but I don’t think I am going to read on. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and I have. Now I’m off to try and read The Hunger Games again. Wish me luck because I need to get a few things from 50 Shades of Grey out of my head and I could use a good escape.

I am open to any suggestions.

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I am a .com! I finally did it! Thanks to my readers that weighed in and the lovely bloggers at SITS Girls, I bought my domain! Nothing has really changed in that you can still find me by using the old address with “blogspot” in it but now you can also find me at:

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For those wondering or those that voted, I have decided to keep the blog name the same but have my url be shorter. I’m deciding between http://www.tidbitsqueenchaos.com/ and http://www.tidbitsqueenofchaos.com/. Thanks so much for all your input!

Since Mother’s Day is a month away and then my birthday soon after that and our anniversary following that, I thought I’d write a list to help Leo since last year was so miserably wrong. I have talked on here before about Leo and gift giving and if you want a laugh click here.

1. My blog from Google or my domain or however you say that.

2. Time with my sisters, Belle and my nieces.

3. A new computer. (Notice how I put that so it would stand out.)

4. A replacement for the ring I lost at the dumb baseball tournament last year.

5. A girls’ weekend.

6. Time to myself.

7. Barnes and Noble gift certificate

8. A spa day with the works: massage and everything. If this could coincide with #2 even better. If he adds a clothing budget for me, I would be over the moon excited and the public will do a collective cheer at not having to see me in black sweats with a gray shirt for awhile.

9. Something that shows that he takes my writing seriously. (Okay, I know that is not fair because it is vague and Leo isn’t very good with vague but I am not really sure what he could do and just thinking that he’d have to think about it and come up with something makes me feel good). There is a blog conference in October that is in Vegas…how cool would that be (however I still have 4 kids with one being 2 so the odds are not good)? #3 would coincide nicely with this one.

10. My wedding ring resized since after being pregnant with Gia, it hasn’t fit and I have given up on ever losing weight in my fingers (that makes me a little sad).

11. A kitchen island (it escapes me every single holiday but I’ll keep asking until I get it).

12. All of the Zumba DVDs. I am missing 3 from the set. While we are on the subject, Friday Night Lights: Season 4 (I hated it but it’s the only one I don’t have) and the movie Thor (yes, I am that shallow).

I recognize that some of these are expensive and since we have not recently come into money, but since I got a whole lotta nothing last year for my birthday and he went fishing on our anniversary, and he is going to Vegas and Alaska and I am going nowhere, I don’t feel all that bad asking for this stuff.

I don’t need all of these, however, there are 12 of them which divides nicely into 3 and there are 3 holidays…

What about you? Anything special that you want for Mother’s Day or a birthday or an anniversary?

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This has been one long bad mommy week. It’s been the kind of week that I pray will be lost forever when it is done and that no one will look back and remember how much this week has sucked.

I am at war with my children right now. I am not afraid to admit that the children I love with all of my heart are getting an “A” in testing the limits and mouthing off. Up until yesterday, I at least had sweet, sweet Gia but she turned into the devil yesterday. I swear right before my eyes, she might as well have spun her head around and projectile vomited pea soup. Every single moment of yesterday was a battle. Lucky me, I even had to take her to Target because we were out of water and Gatorade (Nico had a game) and I am back to Black Cherry Propel being my crack/cocaine and I was out. Of course I had to go to the one that is 20 minutes away because the one down the street doesn’t have it, nor does the Dominick’s, Ulta or Jewel that is down the street. Plus I had to get a few gifts. Well, I couldn’t get half my list because my sweet baby girl turned into Linda Blair right there at Target. It is frustratingly obvious that she hates any work I do on the computer and doesn’t care that her mommy wants to grow bigger with her blog. She refused to eat all day, hasn’t napped in 3 days (which is usually when I work on the computer), has been up at the crack of dawn (again when I try and blog) all week. She was in bed by 6:30. She’s not sick. She is just two.

I will only say with the other three that I am battling and so far I am winning.

I am sharing with you this story so that you can start your day with a laugh or if you are having one of those days, you can say, “Well, at least that didn’t happen to me!”

We have new siding. Someone asked me if we won the lottery because of all the work we are doing to the outside of the house (this pains me to type when I know how much work I want done on the inside of the house). We did not win the lottery. The insurance is covering the siding and if I ever did come into a windfall of money, siding would probably be the last thing I’d spend it on. Everyone keeps asking me how I like it and to be honest, I have no opinion. I don’t pay any attention to the color of houses and until it came down, I thought my house was gray. It was actually blue. It is now brown. They were supposed to be done in one day. That was the sales guy’s big pitch for why we should go with them. I thought they were done in two but turns out it took three. Because I thought they were done and I hadn’t been able to exercise in two days, I resumed my Zumba exercising in the kitchen. I have done it so many times now that I sort of know the moves so I was really getting into it when in my concentrated salsa dancing state, I heard the doorbell. Yep. It was two of the siding guys. They needed to put in the down spouts or something. I didn’t really hear him. I was wanting to crawl into a hole. I did see him trying not to laugh while telling me.

That was bad, yes but not the most embarrassing moment. On day one, they came at 7:00am waking up the whole house. I didn’t even have a bra on and literally just got out of bed. I raced to move our cars still half asleep. Everyone woke up, I got everyone to school and then I had to get ready to go to the hospital to see my sister. I raced to my bathroom. We have windows in our bathroom but they are so high up that no one could ever see in them (our bathroom is a few steps up from our bedroom) so I don’t even give a second thought to getting ready in there. So there I am hurrying to get ready and I am putting deodorant on with just my underwear and no bra and I look up and what do I see? Yep…siding guy. At first he is facing to the side and not looking so I cover myself and think maybe he didn’t see but nope. He looks in and smiles a smile that said, “Too late. I already saw.” Mortified…

I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended that on the second day, not every guy came back but the one that saw me naked did.

So fess up…make me feel better and tell me an embarrassing story of yours or tell me your are having a crappy mommy week, too.

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