This is a big one…one that I lost sleep over last night and will probably continue to lose sleep over for years to come. Insurance. I KNOW I am not alone in this and that half the country is dealing with similar issues or worse. The numbers of people that are living without insurance are staggering so I know I am lucky to have such good insurance. Really, I know I am. The boys meds alone costs $12,000 a month without insurance. Because we have good insurance, we only pay a copay. You can then appreciate the fear that we had when Leo was out of work. Our insurance does two annoying things. One is that once in awhile you have to send something in to say you don’t have any other insurance and second, every time one of us goes to the lab or Urgent Care, we have to send something back with Leo’s signature. Until we do, they won’t process the claims. Whatever. It is tedious and not what this rant is about. With two kids that have chronic issues and all the medical stuff I had last year, we had a lot of doctor’s appointments and a few surgeries with some emergency room visits.

All of a sudden, I was getting a lot of bills that the insurance wouldn’t cover. I called and was shocked to find out several things. One was that the anesthesiologist wasn’t in network so we had to pay out of pocket. I painstakingly found a doctor that was in network at a hospital that was in network. No one told me that I had to or even could choose my anesthesiologist. Along those same lines, I picked an oral surgeon for the biopsy of my tongue. I called and made sure it was covered. I didn’t know that it was up to me to tell him what lab I wanted the sample sent to. The lab wasn’t in network. It’s my own ignorance from not having dealt with this before that I didn’t find out if he could send it to another lab.  I didn’t even know it was an option. I took Tommy to the ER when he had those bumps on his legs and couldn’t walk. I took him to a hospital in network. They ran a bunch of tests never once telling me that I should call and make sure they were covered. How in the hell am I supposed to know in an emergency situation that one of the tests isn’t covered?! I called the hospital and asked that the paperwork be sent to me so I can appeal it with the insurance and that I was working on getting it paid and to not take further action. I still haven’t gotten the paperwork. Instead, I got a call that they sent it to collections. I am fuming! I know this stuff happens all the time and Leo has assured me that it is going to get taken care of but I hate this crap so much! I followed their stupid rules. I called to make sure it was covered. I went in Network and I still get slammed with uncovered services. Again, I know I am lucky to just have insurance. I get that but with Nico and Tommy and the endless appointments that might be ahead, I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel of dealing with insurance issues. It just fires me up that the insurance companies will go to any length not to pay a bill that they are supposed to…that and the gazillion loop holes that get them out of paying. It takes a mountain of paperwork and hours of time and arguing (and I really hate confrontation) before they will do what they are supposed to do. So frustrated right now. You know, I used to fantasize that if I came into a lot of money I’d get a nanny or a housekeeper or a cook or maybe even a driver? Well, not anymore…now…I’d get an assistant to take care of insurance issues. Do you know how hard it is to take care of things over the phone when you have a 2 year old screaming for “SNACKIES!!!” or “‘Mon, Mommy, ‘mon!!!” (c’mon, Mommy) or “Pickee upee!”

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

We had a very successful morning! I talked to a neighbor that I don’t get to see very often because of our schedules (and I am a hermit) and every time I do, I am reminded that I wish I saw her more. I sat with three moms of boys in Tommy’s grade. Tommy was friends with one in Kindergarten and first grade but then they weren’t in class together after that. They are going to be on the same baseball team so maybe that friendship will rekindle. Gia ran into the babysitting room and never looked back. They said at one point she asked for me but never cried. I think I can start bringing her on Sundays which means I won’t have to rely on Leo being home and might even get him to come with me to church. The speaker was my neighbor and she did a fantastic job teaching us what is myth and what is reality when it comes to nutrition and fitness. I came out of the meeting really wanting to do more as a family. We are going skiing (if there is enough snow) this week (yes…we are the bad parents taking the kids out of school for two days and no, it doesn’t really bother me) so that is a good start. I really want to find a yoga or exercise class to do with Belle. I mentioned before that two of the classes I wanted to do with Gia were cancelled. That still bums me out.

All in all, I learned a lot and was motivated to start eating healthier and get moving, Gia got to play with kids her own age, I felt a little closer to belonging to the church and I GOT A TWO HOUR BREAK!!!! I also came away from it wishing that Wheaton Bible offered a “Mom’s Morning” or “Mom’s Afternoon” once a week. It made me so happy to know she was with kids her own age. A lady did stop me when we were leaving and said that Gia was sad (not crying) so she took her on a walk and Gia ended up playing with some bigger kids and was happy again. That doesn’t surprise me that she feels most comfortable with older kids since she is always with Tommy and Belle but it is another reason why I have to start surrounding her with kids her own age.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

I will post an update when I get back but I am going, for the first time, to a meeting of moms at church. It is about fitness and nutrition and I am so excited because I get to bring Gia to a little class while I am there. I am convincing myself that she’ll stay the full two hours when a part of me is afraid she is going to cry when I leave and then cry again so I’ll have to go get her. I don’t know if you remember but she would never stay at the daycare at Lifetime which is why we no longer go there. I just really, really want this to work. It combines three things I love: church, getting skinny healthy, and getting a break. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

We had Gia’s party yesterday. The sheer joy on her face throughout the whole day made me feel guilty about not wanting to do one since she won’t remember it anyway. I forgot that I’ll remember it forever. 

My sister, Nikki made the princess cake (it tasted exactly like the Portillo’s one).




My sister Nikki made the Rapunzel cake. It’s Gia’s favorite princess at the moment. Gia LOVED it!





Nothing says happy like a 2 year old about to have a party dressed like a princess.




I just want you to appreciate the pain it takes to get them to pose for a family picture. There was yelling and cursing and this is what we ended up with. Can you see the sweat on my forehead? Can you see that it pained Nico to open his eyes fully and this was the best of what I had to choose from?




She was excited about every gift. She even loved the clothes and kept rubbing them on her cheek saying, “Soft.”




Who would have thought a magazine subscription would elicit so much happiness from a toddler? She is definitely my kid and yes, she might have been feeding off of my excitement about it but what a great idea!

 It was a fun day spent with family. It means a lot to me that everyone gave up a Saturday afternoon to celebrate Gia’s birthday. I love to watch my kids interact with their cousins just like I love to see my cousins. There weren’t too many tears yesterday so I think the kids enjoyed having a built in playdate.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

 Last night Nico, Leo and I attended the CF event, Grand Chef’s Gala. It is a great event and we went as guests of my sister Gina and her husband, Deo. This year, Natalie, her 14 year old daughter and Nico went. I was more excited that Nico was going than I was that I was going and I really enjoy going. I am a big fan of Top Chef and it reminds me a lot of that. Several chefs are there presenting hors d’oeuvres from their restaurant. One year, Dale from Top Chef was there. This year, Beverly was there. Nico was so star struck, it was cute. He talked to her for awhile and we got a picture with her. We ate for two hours sampling food with my favorite being a sea bass with a coconut/vanilla sauce from Inovasi. It was so good, I was afraid the chef thought I was stalking him. It is in Lake Bluff  and if I am every out that way, I am definitely going to dinner there. If the rest of their food is as good as that sea bass, then I’m in for a great meal. Nico liked a braised beef one and Leo liked a steak slider. You can vote on your favorite and the winner last night was a pork shoulder and mashed potato that was really good from Purple Pig. There was a lot of pork dishes, tuna and ceviche ones. I like pork but the others, I am not a fan so I stuck close to the sea bass. The meal was a Cuban one but I was so stuffed from the hors d’oeuvres that I didn’t really eat any of it. It was a little spicy for my taste. I am an Augustino’s girl at heart so fancy shmancy food really doesn’t impress or satisfy me. I felt bad for Nico because in years past, there was a whole room for desserts and this year it was split between desserts and alcoholic beverages. I thought one was a fruit punch and took it and gulped it only to start choking and crying because it was all alcohol (had a nice but short-lived buzz after that).  

This turned out dark but the guy tried taking it for 5 tries. This was the best we could get. Deo walked away and Rochelle and Tommy weren’t there yet so they are missing.



The food part lets me forget the reason why there is a fundraiser to begin with. Once the speeches start, I am forced to remember and even now, it gets me. The best part of the event is that you have some of the wealthiest people in the room and there are 700 people there. The worst part is that because it is so big and I am convinced people don’t even know what the cause is as much as they know that everyone who is anyone in Chicago is there so they should be too, no one stops talking during the whole thing. There was chaos during the live auction where we had no idea what was going on and people were incredibly rude during the emotional bid for a cure video. Nico leaned over to me and said, “If this is such an expensive event, couldn’t they get someone to actually come in and speak?” I can’t fault them much because in ticket sales alone, I think they brought in $350,000 and bid for a cure (or maybe the whole live auction part, I’m not sure since I couldn’t hear over the talkers) raised $190,000. Any money raised for CF is a good thing and I am grateful; for it. I do have to say that I still liked our event, All I Want for Christmas is a Cure, better. It was more personal and homey and I’d like to think uplifting but we’d never be able to bring in that much money and I was okay with that but that is not what fundraising is about, is it?



I had asked Leo 12 times to take the picture of Rochelle and me so my face was showing a little aggravation.





 



Not sure what Leo and Deo are doing here or where Tommy C was during this picture.



All in all, it was a great night out. Thanks so much, Deo and Gina!  I had some great babysitters (and might even have some for a much needed weekend away for Leo and me) that made sure I was able to enjoy the evening. I had fun with two of my sisters, my cousin, my niece and my BFF. The husbands and Nico were fun, too. On a funnier note, I actually had some sort of allergic reaction to being dressed up and wearing make-up. I swear…I broke out in hives. I don’t think my feet will ever be the same from the heels I was wearing. While itching on the way there, I said to Leo, “Why can’t sweats be considered sexy?” (I got that from Pinterest.) He said, “I think they are.” I replied, “And that is why I will never leave you.”

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

A lot of my thoughts that make it on the blog are inspired from the music I listen to. I recently listened to this song (I did the one with the lyrics so that those of you that don’t have sound could still see the words):

Besides thinking of the obvious (the dark-eyed ex that once I laid eyes on him I was “already gone” but that it didn’t last) it made me wonder. For the parents out there, are you raising your kids the way you were raised or how you wish you were raised? Even those that don’t have kids, if you did, would you raise them how you were raised or how you wish you were raised? In this song, it sounds like the mom was telling her to do things that she had done. Live the life she lived but that the girl was “already gone”. I know that the basic foundation and morals and values that I grew up with are the same ones I am raising my kids with but I have to say…my parents were overprotective. We had a lot of rules and didn’t venture too far from home. I wish I had travelled more when I was younger because now that I have kids, it is a thousand times harder. My one sister went to Europe and I have a cousin that lived in Ireland for a little while and I wonder what happened between me and three of my younger sisters and my sister and cousin who are really adventurous? I’m guessing I didn’t really know it was an option. It was so instilled in me to go to a state school, get a job, get married and have kids (and to be honest, the job part was encouraged but not a given). It was never even a thought to move to a different state or experience anything other than what I said. The funny thing is that I don’t think it was necessarily what they wanted for me…it was what I wanted for myself. I was a rule-follower to a fault and it isn’t that I don’t want my kids to be that way, I do. I just want them to experience everything life has to offer and not be afraid to try new things. I didn’t know I loved to travel until I was out of college. I only went on Spring Break once and though we made the best of it, it wasn’t exactly a trip to paradise (J.G., if you are reading, you are still my favorite memory of that trip). Looking back, I think that was the most daring I ever was. There were eight of us that drove to Clearwater, FL and I remember it feeling really good to be out on my own (and yet, still scared of my own shadow). I don’t think I was even on a plane until after I graduated college.  My friends and I just didn’t have the kind of money to travel the world. Once I did have money, I was married and wanted kids and we all know how kids suck the money right out of us. I guess the most out of the box thing I did was get an apartment with a friend from college after working for a year. It’s funny, I wanted to get married, Leo wasn’t asking and I wanted my life to start. Looking back, what was I in such a hurry for?

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

I hate that this is even a post or warrants talking about. I made mention a few posts back that Nico saw another mouse the day after we got the “all clear” from Jimmy, our Orkin guy. He is a sweet, sweet kid and I mean kid. He looks like he is Nico’s age but anyway, we got the all clear and I was feeling pretty good. Nico saw the mouse but Jimmy said that there was a chance that when we sealed up the house, a mouse might have gotten trapped in (yuck). Two days later, I was at my computer when Gia was napping (right around the corner from the pantry) and the stupid half screen TV was off. I heard a rustling (like a bag of chips) in the pantry. I was always told that they are more afraid of us than we are of them so I started saying loudly, “I am still here! Go away!” I heard rustling again, freaked and grabbed a broom to shut the pantry door. I spent the rest of the day upstairs. Leo came home late that night so we didn’t talk about what I heard. The next morning, Gia woke up before it was light out and instead of giving in and giving her the bottle, I brought her downstairs. As I was walking down, I heard rustling again. I again, yelled, “We’re here! Go away!” I hurried back up the stairs and woke Leo up (it was about 6:00am) and told him what I heard. He mumbled for me to call Jimmy. I, in a not very nice voice, said, “Jimmy doesn’t live here, @*#. You do! Now get up and check and see what is in there.” He didn’t and if you are thinking that if I said that nicer, he would have, he wouldn’t. By the time he did go down and take care of it, I told him to throw every bag of chips away (they were in a big bin at the bottom of the pantry). He begrudgingly did and said, “Yeah, you better call Jimmy. There are droppings in there.” What the hell??? We took down our deck, we got a dumpster and purged our house, there is nothing but bins in the basement and we have Orkin coming out A LOT. Why can’t we get rid of this problem? And these have to be the stupidest mice around because there are a lot nicer houses with bigger pantries, basements and nooks to hide in Winfield…why in the world are they coming here??? I called and requested another guy come out because I thought Jimmy might be missing something.

I bought a bin for the chips that closed but Nico being as math challenged as he is, gave me the wrong measurements so the door wouldn’t close. When I took the bin out before I went to bed, the floor was clean. Tommy went in there in the morning and when I freaked and told him not to go in there, I saw an energy bar opened and crumbs everywhere on the floor where it was clean the night before. I got Leo up again and had him sweep in there and take a look. He pulled out a shelf we have in there for granola bars and “sweet” treats for lunches and sure enough, there were crumbs everywhere with a few mouse droppings. There was a fat @** mouse with a lot of energy running around my house and I was completely skeeved out by it. I went to my sister’s for the day because Orkin couldn’t come until the next day.

Friday came and I called to make sure that they were coming even with the threat of a blizzard and that they were sending another guy. The woman said, “Jimmy said he’ll be there by 1:00.” What?! I explained again why I wanted someone else feeling bad about not wanting Jimmy. The next thing I know a guy comes on the line and said, “This is Wiley. I can be there on Monday.” First of all, why didn’t I have Wiley in the first place? Wiley sounds like the name of a guy that is good at catching mice. Wiley also sounded like he might have been missing some teeth but still like he knew what he was doing. Second of all, MONDAY?! I told him no way and that I needed him there now. He said, “Okay, Miss AnnMarie. I’ll be there between 10 and 12.” He showed up, and as far as I know had all of his teeth, with what looked like a box full of serious mouse catching tools. He sealed up some gap behind my stove and I saw him putting down traps that were different than Jimmy’s.

“Wait, what are those?” I asked.
“Glue boards,” he said as if I should have known by the big letters that said GLUE BOARD.
“But wait…am I going to see them on there because the ones that Jimmy puts down are boxes and I can go into a room without seeing them?” I said freaking out by the minute.
“Well, the mice aren’t taking the bait so these are better. The critters run across and get stuck.” OMG! He put one under the stove and behind the refrigerator.

To help you better understand my fear of mice and how it makes me crazy, I will share with you what I did in my insanity. We have this ugly, scary looking lizard that Nico got for his third birthday. It’s big for a rubber animal…a little over two feet maybe (I’m also math challenged) and I’m not sure how it lasted through the move from Bartlett or the purging of the house but it did so I thought, in my most insane moment, that if I put it outside the pantry door, if a mouse came out, it would see it, get scared and go back in. Not that I want them in there but I don’t want to EVER see them and they don’t seem to be afraid of us since Nico keeps seeing them. The funniest part was when Wiley turned the corner and saw the lizard, he jumped and yelled, “Oh!” I threw Tommy under the bus saying he put it there and Wiley said those things scare him. The irony of an exterminator being afraid of a toy lizard left me a little speechless. He put another glue board in the pantry (a place I will never go again) and one in the basement and then left to get the ticket in the car. While he was gone, I heard a noise that I swear sounded like plastic scraping the floor and thought, “Son of a *****, we already caught one! OMG!” I looked at Gia and stupidly asked her, “Did you hear that?” She looked at me like I was crazy which I was. The noise stopped and Wiley came back in.

“You are going to think I am crazy but I think there is one in there. I hear a noise that sounds like one,” I said.
He listened and quietly, like I belonged in a padded room, said, “Are you hearing the noise right now?” It was dead silent.
“No, I don’t hear it right now. Can you check it?”
He did and nothing was there. “It’s your door, Miss AnnMarie. It is clicking in the wind.” Great. He for sure thought I was crazy. He, too, was convinced that we had trapped the mice in and there won’t be a problem.
There is a vent thing above the microwave that he said we should put wire around because maybe that is a problem (I bought the stuff but has Leo done it? Nope. Am I afraid I will seal up something that shouldn’t be sealed? Yes.) I found out he is Jimmy’s boss so I made sure I told him what a great kid Jimmy is and that it had nothing to do with him.

He left and two minutes later, Jimmy called. Can I just tell you that I felt like I cheated on Jimmy? I know. Ridiculous but Jimmy comes whenever I call him (like when Leo is out of town and I’m afraid we caught a mouse) and even put the foam stuff outside when Leo wouldn’t. I explained why I had someone else come out and that I didn’t think Wiley understood my fear because he put down traps where I would see the mice and Jimmy talked me off the ledge telling me he’d come out this week and check them.

My friend came over (PL) and when she went to see the pantry trap, she heard something shift and yelled. I yelled and grabbed her, accidentally stabbing her with one of my nails in the process. “Is it a mouse?!” I yelled. We were like two old biddies screaming about nothing. I think I might be losing my mind with this issue and I think the mice might be the devil.

We caught two mice on the one glue board in the basement and Nico confirmed that one of them was the one he saw. Leo thinks that because Wiley sealed up around the stove, those two couldn’t get upstairs because we haven’t caught any up here. He thinks we are done. I am going to live in fear that just when we think we are, one will pop up. Calling Jimmy right now to have him check.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

I don’t even know where to begin with this post. Where did the time go? How can she already be 2? Where is the pause button? Today is going to be a good day…one filled with remembering the day she was born and the absolute joy that she brings to my life every day. I worried when she didn’t walk at a year. She is running all over the house. I worried when she didn’t talk at 18 months. She is talking so much now that her voice is music to my ears. I love the high pitched, teeny, tiny voice that says (this is just some, not all, of what she says):

I do it!
Ready to go?
I have snackies?
Soup, Mommy, please.
Where’s Bibble? (Her favorite character in Barbie Fairytopia)
We go see Fankie?
We go see Marco?
We go see Finnie? (Vinnie)
Wead Punzel (Read Rapunzel).
I make it. (Her plastic food)
‘mon, Mommy.
I sorry.
And my all time favorite: I wuv you, Mommy.

It isn’t always easy as you know if you have been reading but last night when she was going to bed, I was telling her how much she meant to me and how happy she makes me. She just nodded probably not understanding what I was saying and just happy to not be put in bed yet but then she put her little hand on my face as if to say, “I know.” She is the ray of sunshine in all the chaos. She forces me to slow down and appreciate the little moments. I love her so much my heart sometimes feels like it is going to burst. I am going to remember all of these feelings today when I take her out to breakfast and she melts down.

I know I posted this video before but since it makes me laugh harder than anything else at the moment, I am posting it again.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

On this day two years ago, I was at a basketball tournament where Nico’s team went on to win the championship. It was the night before I gave birth to Gia. Today, I didn’t spend the day that way. I woke up early to wake up Gia and Nico to take Nico to the ENT. My magnet for freak accidents of a son, got in a fight with wires and a game controller and lost. He jerked the controller free and it flew into his face, breaking his nose. I thought it was broken from the get go but Leo said they wouldn’t do anything other than tell us to see our ENT. He seemed to think it was no big deal (I think it is because he has a crooked nose and now Nico’s nose looks like his) and played him in the basketball game on Saturday where…yes…you guessed it…he got elbowed in the nose. So, he either broke it Friday or Saturday. Since he just had surgery, I wanted to make sure everything was still okay so I took him to Geneva so see the doctor. He walked in and said, “Yep, it’s broken.” Luckily, Nico broke it straight so it just has to heal and no further surgery is necessary. Only Nico.

I had someplace I needed to be all afternoon and then came home to Tommy needing help with his animal report, him having practice and Nico having a game. I will only say this. I hate 4th grade and @*!%#$ stupid mobile animal reports where 4th graders have a hard time figuring out margins on Word and string on hangers and index cards and typing. Whatever happened to dioramas? I’ll tell you what…if I ever go back to teaching, I know what I am NOT going to do: Never, ever going to REQUIRE a project typed and NO HOME PROJECTS!!! Uggghhh…if he doesn’t get a good grade on this report, I am going to feel like it is me that didn’t get a good grade in which case the #$%* is going to hit the fan. What makes me mad is that he did all the research and wrote the rough copy and when it came down to the project, he couldn’t do it himself. Maybe it is just my kids but even taking it from the computer (with the missing “k” so after two tearful nights, I just typed it for him) to making it a mobile was hard. His little fingers had a hard time tying the string and then it was a free for all with the tape. Hate, hate, hate stuff like this.

I need to do a few overdue thank yous: P.L., thank you for saving me from going out in the blizzard and bringing me whole milk and cheese (Gia’s favorite obsession). Lee, thanks for watching Gia while I took Nico to the doctor. K.J., thanks for babysitting today and looking for a suit for Nico for Friday. Some of my neighbors must know Leo very well or sense that he was gone all last week because N.H. did my front sidewalk, A.G. did my side sidewalk and M.B. did my driveway. You guys are the best neighbors EVER! As always, I’d be lost without my sisters during the last two weeks. No one can love you during a funk like a sister…they know exactly what to say and what not to. Thanks.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts